


King of Nothing

by kingpig



Series: Kingsland [2]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Reality Bending, Romance, Video Game Mechanics, multiple ones actually, there is a lemon in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27935413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingpig/pseuds/kingpig
Summary: It had been a while since they'd left the old world and gone through the void into a new one. Ex had gone the other way, and when the portal disappeared, their paths had once again diverged. This time for good - there was no way they'd be able to reach each other again, not across worlds.Right?Doc questioned the finality of his separation from Ex more and more with each additional day spent in the new world. And the longer their time apart became, the more Doc felt it driving him round the bend. If time healed all wounds, then for him, it had a very strange way of doing so. Or maybe it was this...somethingthat kept clawing at his chest, that made it impossible for Doc to move on.This is a continuation ofThe King of White Lies, and I believe this second part will be rather confusing if you haven't read the first.
Relationships: Docm77/Evil Xisuma
Series: Kingsland [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2130726
Comments: 47
Kudos: 81





	1. Spawn

**Author's Note:**

> First things first - this is a work of fiction, based strictly on the ingame personas of any and all Hermits mentioned. I am aware that separating real-life person and minecraft avatar can only be taken so far since on some level they are obviously the same. That said, the characters in this are in no way meant to represent the actual people behind the usernames and are rather inspired by a combination of canon and fanon content that involves their characters. This does not reflect in any shape or form how I believe they do or should interact irl. It's all fake, and it's going to get explicit eventually because I'm a horny bitch who has no concept of self-control.  
> 
> 
> For the purposes of this story, spawns get set manually - including the default spawn point you'd go to in the event of a temporary one falling through. Just like before, it kind of mix-matches video game and real life logic, but I tried to keep it consistent within the storyline and explain it in a way that doesn't get too confusing.  
> Same goes for the season timeline - the order or time span of events is roughly oriented after Doc's videos, but with some generous deviations. I got the idea from basically trying to come up with an in-universe, semi-but-not-really-canonically applicable reason for Doc's long absence from the server.
> 
> A heads-up: this story will include a chapter that features themes such as self-harm and a character death, though only within the bounds of video game logic. Nobody actually gets permanently hurt since, again - video game logic. You lose some hearts, you drink a potion, you're good. But I feel that the description goes into a little more detail than might be comfortable for some readers. I will add another warning in the beginning notes of the chapter in question for you all to be safe!
> 
> And as is custom, I will link to any references or otherwise related inspirations in the end notes of each chapter! Enjoy!

It had begun with the apple.

Although – it hadn’t, really, if Doc was being honest with himself. The apple had been what pushed him over the edge – quite literally so. 

No, if he was being honest, there hadn’t been a _beginning_ because really, he had never really allowed it to come to an end. 

It. Whatever _it_ even was. This… connection. A link to another world that he wouldn’t allow to break, that kept pulling him away from what should have been his here and now.

Doc closed his eyes against the darkness.

He’d have to untangle this from the beginning – the true beginning. The part where he’d left off, pretending it would be the end. Like it was that easy to end things, just by way of separating a pair of hands.

When Doc squinted into the daylight and lifted his hand up to shield his eyes against the sudden glaring sun, the portal behind him collapsed as soon as he’d set both feet down on the green grass of a new world. 

Voices that had been muffled and quiet seconds ago were now beginning to speak up, louder and tumbling all over each other. He could hear Xisuma speak over them all, hushing them up with that way he had among them. An admin’s prerogative.

“Alright, everyone check with your mates. Who has last seen Python and Biffa?”

But try as they might, they would not find another trace of them. Somewhere along their way through the dark, they had gotten lost. It was but little consolation to hear Keralis soothe their worries with that soft, velvety voice of his, reminding them that he’d spent ages astray as well, and yet here he was.

Some long, turbulent hours later, Doc stared up into a brand new sky, blue and endless above an equally vast ocean. The sunlight was nice and warm. Soft grass was swaying in a gentle breeze below his feet, and not far off, he could hear Bdubs messing with some wood. 

He stretched out his arms and grinned. It was time to build a goat!

And build a goat he did, telling himself he just liked the silly idea of it, the ridiculousness of playing by a set of arbitrary rules that nobody else was following and blaming it on a deity that was as made up as the rules themselves.

And the others played along in his silly little game, oblivious as to where it really originated from, and Doc let himself get swept away in playing pretend. He laughed at the silly goat Beef built in his base, not because he felt like he had to but because it was truly just so damn funny with its big, terrified eyes and little pink tongue. It was a terrible approximation of the mountain he’d spent hours carving, and he loved it. 

He bickered with Bdubs, mischievous smiles flickering on their faces as they swore at each other across the fence between them, shaking their fists like grouchy old men and having a blast with it. Doc couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face whenever he saw the twinkle in Bdubs’ eyes that snuck into them every time he was seconds away from chasing Doc off with a pickaxe in his hand, yelling in that dramatic enactment of rage he was so fond of. 

They had barely even set up their bases when he was already busying himself with shenanigans at Bdubs’ expense.

“And so, ladies and gentlemen, the wild Bdubs attempts to defend its territory,” he narrated, half laughing, half panting, as he ran off to take cover after having pushed Bdubs off of his scaffolding for the fourth time in as many minutes. 

“I’LL SHOW YOU DEFENSE, YOU!” Bdubs yelled at the top of his lungs, pickaxe in one hand and a sword in the other, ready to give Doc a whack with either – or better yet, both! – as soon as he got his hands on him. Doc was faster than him, his broad frame granting him longer legs, but Bdubs was nimble enough to compensate. Finally, he managed to cut Doc off and stood in front of him, feet firmly planted into the grass.

He looked menacing enough, with his weapons at the ready and that grim look on his face. But the truth was, the top of his head barely reached Doc’s collarbones if he stood up straight, so Doc couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He wasn’t about to underestimate the sheer force of an angry Bdubs, but he did look a bit like an angry dachshund would look to a pitbull. 

“Stop laughing!” Bdubs yelled, but the way he was slurring his words ever so slightly betrayed that he was holding back laughter. Doc’s grin widened and Bdubs stomped his foot. “I said stop laughing, you green clown! I’m gonna chop off the one arm you’ve got left!”

“What’s one more bionic body part to a cyborg?”

“Oh you’ll be sorry enough when you realize that I’m the only one around who’s got two hands to make you one, and we all know my redstone skills are awful, so that’s gonna be a punishment in the shape of an arm!”

Doc burst into laughter that echoed from the mountainside and Bdubs finally lowered his weapons as he broke into a grin. Doc wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him in a too-tight approximation of a hug before he let himself fall back on the grass, taking Bdubs with him despite his very loud protests. 

There they lay, laughing at the sky, and Doc felt a pang of sadness dull the otherwise perfect happiness of the moment. 

It filled him with bittersweet nostalgia sometimes – the play-fighting, the feigned anger, the affectionate bickering. Nostalgia of the kind that choked him up in a matter of seconds and sent pinpricks of tears from his throat all the way up to his eyes for only the briefest of moments before he forced it back down and away.

He was not here to hang on to… whatever it had been that he’d left in the old world, separated himself from so pointedly in the void. It hadn’t been much of anything, had it? So little that he could not even find a word for it. And yet sometimes, in small, quiet moments, it crashed into him how much he mourned this _something_ , how much heavier it felt than the loss of a friend – and he knew, because the emptiness that missing Biffa and Python had left him with paled in comparison to this. 

He didn’t know what it was that he’d had when he’d had it, and he didn’t know what it had been now that it was lost, either. 

All he knew was that sometimes, it hurt like someone was driving a white-hot stake through his heart, and that he resented it having the power to be this painful. 

So he pushed it away, and wherever it was that he pushed it away to, he was able to tune it out. He could go on with his days, gather his resources, joke with the Hermits and add new, silly rules to his cult. Like the game that it was.

He felt a smack on his arm – by way of the impact sending vibrations through the metal, followed immediately by Bdubs cursing loudly and shaking out his hand. “Darn it Doc, that’s it! It’s time to go back to hating each other over petty neighbourhood disagreements! You almost – your stupid tinfoil glove could’ve cost me my hand!”

Doc broke into laughter again and an answering grin snuck across Bdubs’ face for just a second before he went back to feigning offense. 

“Look at it this way. I’ll have two hands to make you a custom tinfoil hand, and with my redstone skills, you’ll be able to punch out bedrock when I’m done.”

“God you’re conceited.”

“One of us has got to have reason to be.” 

“Oi!!!”

And just that easily, they were back to their usual ways.

Time went on by, and Doc was beginning to think that this was okay. He was okay, he had won – the _something_ had not dug its claws into him for a long time now, and he hardly even thought about it anymore. Whatever it had been about it that wouldn’t let him go – it was over now. 

But even though he had everyone else fooled, even though he somehow was fooling himself into believing it – in reality, Doc was wrong.

And oh, if he wasn’t going to find out just how brutally wrong he was.

He didn’t notice the change at first, even though his eyes had to have flicked over the crumbled stone at the bottom of the mountain that had not been there the day before when he climbed up the hillside. But somehow, Doc blanked it out entirely until he’d made it all the way up to his base and turned back around, only to completely lose his train of thought at what he was seeing.

The goat head he’d carved into the mountain was gone, its remains looking up at its now severed, stony neck from below, and Doc stopped dead in his tracks . He felt like he was encased in solid ice and engulfed by fire, but the ice just wouldn’t melt quickly enough for him to escape the agony of the flames.

He just stared at the carnage, and he could feel his inability to react paralyzing him. He forced himself to walk, to get another look, to try and blink it away. A disbelieving laugh left his throat.

“No,” he heard himself say, “No, they – ”

Another laugh. Trying desperately to shake it off.

“No way. No, they didn’t.”

But it was still there, and he wasn’t sure whether the sound he was making was a laugh or a sob, at this point.

“They chopped off the head of the goat.”

He didn’t even know who he was talking to.

And now, now he was laughing because it was hitting him with full force – he was laughing because he knew that otherwise he would cry, and he couldn’t – he wouldn’t, he simply would not _allow_ it – he was stronger than this _something_ that kept on following him, taunting him, gripping him at night when he was just about to fall asleep. 

The _something_ that was whispering into his ear from within, where he would not be able to block it out because it was _inside of his head_ , and Doc just absolutely _refused_ to let this _something_ have that kind of power over him – to let _Ex_ have that kind of power over him, still, in his absence, worlds apart and so far removed that no matter how much Doc tried he would never be able to just – just – grab him by the shoulders to shake him, and demand that he _let him go_ , to beat this power he had over Doc out of him if nothing else would help, if that was the only way Doc would be free of this pain.

He stared at the broken up mountain and felt numb at the juxtaposition of knowing how much he looked just like he always did, his body working like it always had while his insides felt like there were worlds crashing and breaking apart, everything that held him together from within tumbling down into dust and ruins.

Really, all that he wanted was to see him again. Wrap his arms around the body hidden under that red armour that always felt so much smaller than it really was under Doc’s big hands, and just… just hold on to him. Hold on to that annoying, grumpy, impertinent brat of a person and say – 

“God, I fucking _miss_ you.” 

This, he knew who he was saying it to. He was talking to Ex, across the dimensions that separated them and that caught the words and swallowed them up before they could reach him. 

And while he waited for the numbness to fade, Doc admitted to himself with a sigh that, really, he had not stopped caring – he was still clawed up. After Ex had gotten out of the void in the previous world, they had grown close. 

Doc had never been under any illusion when it came to the end of their shared time – it had been predestined to end before it had ever really begun, and he’d had enough time to prepare himself for it. And yet…

He shook his head and grit his teeth. No. 

He’d built the goat as a nod to Ex’s joke about what silly thing he should do in this new world, and it had become something of a fixpoint for him now, something that was getting dangerously close to becoming the very centre of who he was now. But it was a joke. A bit of harmless fun, and nothing to get this upset over. 

It was how the dynamic between the Hermits had always more or less been – win some, lose some. No destruction came with ill intent, and nothing was built to last anyway. They always left it behind sooner or later.

Whoever had done this would help him rebuilt the goat as soon as he asked, but Doc knew he’d do it alone. This was his tribute to a friend he lost – a friend who was different, because chained up in the void he had been his secret, his safe haven to escape to when he wanted a break from the overworld. But this was not the void, this was not Ex’s snarky comments that had felt too much like home for what they were. This was a goat made of stone.

Nothing more. 

A joke. A nod to a fondly remembered past. 

Doc straightened himself and set out to continue on with his day. The goat cult was just a game, and so were the rules he’d established for it. It was about the fun of playing, not about whether or not you won, after all. 

His communicator pinged and he glanced down at the message.

Xisuma: < Can everyone set their spawn for a bit? Have to work out something around ground zero. >

Doc felt his heart drop just a bit. He’d be fine, right?

Tango: < Hope it won’t end with us having to re-set ground zero >

Xisuma: < Ideally not >

Etho: < Setting base spawn is such a hassle. Pls spare us X >

ImpulseSV: < Trust the admin, guys. >

ImpulseSV: < He used to do it for us when communicator code-access was a real nightmare, remember? >

Etho: < Yeah yeah. Thanks dad! >

Doc gulped around the lump in his throat, reading along with the banter. He should say something. Xisuma had stopped checking up on him quite as much as he had when they had only just arrived in the new world, but even though Ex’s continued absence as well as Doc’s lack of glitchy builds thus far seemed to have put him at ease somewhat – he still kept a closer eye on him than he used to. And who could blame him?

Docm77: < The GOAT doesn’t die! ;-) >

Xisuma: < Well just in case it does, have it come back somewhere that’s not spawn for now :-D >

Docm77: < No worries, it won’t >

And it wouldn’t, Doc thought, gripping his pickaxe a little too tightly for comfort. It wouldn’t.

Because Doc just wouldn’t die. He didn’t need to worry about the tedious process of wiring the default spawn into the code, or the much quicker task of setting it to a coordinate elsewhere in the world afterwards.

He would not end up at spawn while Xisuma asked him to make sure he didn’t, if Doc wouldn’t – couldn’t let himself die.

Because Doc had never set his spawn in this world at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beef's silly goat: [HERE](https://youtu.be/eF_mtKh2LQI?t=1928)
> 
> "They chopped off the head of the goat": [HERE](https://youtu.be/EeV83pi7YNc?t=120)


	2. Apple

Doc stared at the button. He’d been here for a while now, trying to convince the other Hermits to just allow him to let it tick down to the red – because he wanted the red. Red like the apple, red like the light that glowed from Ex’s visor, red like his armour and red like his eyes.

Doc shook his head and tore himself out of his thoughts that spiralled down the same path again that they always took when he sat across from the button with nothing else to do. He’d been here all day. 

And now there stood Grian, green concrete block in hand, blinking innocently. 

“Hey guys. What’s going on?”

Doc just groaned as the other Hermits around him broke into downright hysterical laughter. It had taken him the better part of an hour to get everyone to take enough pity on him and how resiliently he’d been playing this waiting game to agree on letting him have the red once the timer ticked down, and now…

He slumped back into his stony seat. It was ironic, really, this throne he’d built and chained himself to – metaphorically. And how easy this was, how comfortably he’d let himself slip into this existence of just… dwelling. Waiting. 

“Have you really been here for hours?”

Grian’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“…because I want a red belt.”

“Yeah, but… why do you just sit here and wait all day? I just come by every now and again to see what the button’s on. You could just wait until nobody’s on and then get it after a bit?”

Doc blinked, almost dumbfounded. 

“Grian,” he said, looking at that unassuming face that always seemed so innocent, until it showed up with havoc in tow. “If nobody’s around it’s not active. It won’t tick down unless I’m within range.”

Grian blinked. _”Oh.”_

Doc couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh my god, really. _Grian.”_

 _”Listen – ”_ , Grian began, but Doc was collapsed on his chair, head buried in his hands and shaking with laughter. 

“You – oh my god, I can’t believe you, dude. I’ve been here for _days_ , man, I’ve gotten this button sniped from under my nose like ten times by now, even though I fought tooth and nail! And you just swoop in here, you don’t even – how do you _do_ that, man! No matter where you show up, you don’t even have to know what’s going on, you just spread chaos!”

“Hey come on! I don’t – it’s a _button!_ I see a button, I gotta press it! I gotta know what happens!”

Doc shook his head, watching Grian’s feigned display of offense with an amused smile. “One day, that’s gonna be your doom.”

“Who am I, Xisuma?”

Doc rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help chuckling. Doom jokes about Xisuma and his choice of armour would never get old. 

“Well then, I’ll leave you to your eternal watch. Can’t promise I won’t cross your path again. I do want every colour!”

“You haven’t really grasped the concept of this button, have you?”

“Maybe _you_ haven’t!” Grian shot back. “Once I have all the infinity stones – !”

“Okay, alright,” Doc laughed before Grian could ramble on any further, hands lifted defensively. “Don’t even start, you crazy gremlin.”

“Who are you calling crazy. You’re sitting around all day doing nothing but wait. I would’ve expected the insane doctor to come up with an insane solution to this problem that doesn’t just amount to ‘sit and wait’!”

He paused and adjusted his wings. “Anyways, I should get going. Because _I_ actually have stuff do to!” 

He waved with one of his good-natured, impish smiles and zoomed away into the nether haze, and Doc stared after him until his silhouette disappeared in the red fog. 

Grian was right, normally he would have been tinkering with some ridiculous contraption by now. He’d built an impossible portal in the last world, he'd created the circle of doom, he had – he had gotten Ex out of the void. He’d helped him change.

And what was he doing now? Sitting on this lonely throne with nothing to show for it. He had helped Ex free himself of his chains, and now he was putting himself in them, staring at this button and waiting for the time to tick away until he’d be able to get that coveted red belt. Like it was supposed to give this chair that he was wasting his time on a meaning.

Doc pulled himself up and stood in front of his little throne. He’d spent days on it, only waiting and wasting away, and was still coming up empty-handed. Hadn’t he himself told Ex that there was no use in wanting to be a king if it left you lonely and isolated?

And here he was now. King of Nothing. 

So caught up in the past that he was letting the present pass him by, and taking any excuse to let it.

He curled his hands into fists, and a grin spread across his face. He was leaving this throne behind and leaving the past with it. It was time for him to get to work!

And work he did. He threw himself into it, relishing the sudden rekindled fire inside of himself, the rush of _doing_ something that he’d missed ever since he’d left the old world, really. 

But now, he was back, and the first thing on his agenda was to beat this button once and for all. And so he researched, and tested, and hypothesized until he had nothing more left in himself. It felt like he was waking up, and scattered around him in that remote corner he’d picked, out of the way of everyone else, there were dozens of button replicas. 

He’d hooked them up to redstone contraptions, fiddled with their inner workings, adjusted his mental blueprints over and over again. He was now almost sure that he understood this thing inside and out. Almost ready to claim that red belt, to match the lights that trailed down his silver arm and glowed from his robotic eye. 

Doc grinned to himself as he looked at the insanity that he had wrought. He’d almost gotten himself killed in the process of wiring up the TNT to the latest contraption – he’d only recently caught wind of the fact that the button was actually hooked up to explosives. Come to think of it, how else would the button be rigged to die if not like this? 

But even though he’d barely escaped death, Doc felt better than he had in a long time. Ever since he’d stepped foot in this new world, he felt like he’d only managed to truly feel like himself when he had been working on something crazy, something where a slip in his concentration was all that stood between the whole thing breaking or making it in the end. 

The last time that had worked in his favour had been with the blaze security system . He’d first asked Tango to help test it before he had even been close to it being done, to get himself on track – and it had worked, he’d gotten himself out of his rut and gotten things done again without feeling like his brain was watching his body run on autopilot from a distance. Bantering and talking crazy redstone with Tango had given him the boost he had needed then – he’d felt like he was back at home in his mad scientist skin.

But somehow, with the appearance of the button, he’d let himself slip into a strange apathy, even heavier than the strange, metaphorical weight that had been pressing down on him when he’d first gotten to the new world. He’d taken the excuse to sit and stare at nothing for hours and run with it, had let the melancholy of how he’d left the last world drag him down again.

He wasn’t sad about how it had ended, really. He’d left that world like he’d left the previous ones – with a sense of pride. With a legacy behind him that was now someone else’s to discover, and a new beginning awaiting him. He had mourned the loss of his friends, and just hoped that, like Keralis, Biffa and Python would find their way home again in time. 

And then there was Ex. 

He wasn’t even sad about how he’d parted with Ex. Sad wasn’t the right word. They’d said everything there had been to say at the time, and Ex couldn’t have joined them – not when he didn’t _want_ to, and he had no purpose of his own among them, having always just been an antagonist who would do little else but try to undermine each and every effort they made.

But they _had_ separated, with such finality and at a point in time at which Doc thought that, maybe, if only they’d had more time, they really could have been – whatever that _something_ was that he had no word for. 

More than friends, yet not quite lovers. Like the void they had met in, they had been and now forever would be stuck in an in-between. 

Doc shook his head. Enough with this, he told himself. It was past. And now, all he needed were some last, final tests. He was just about ready to conquer the button, now! 

Or he would have been, had it not been for Xisuma diving down from the sky and almost scaring the green off of his skin. 

“Doc, my sanity-challenged friend!”

“Xisuma, my dude. If I didn’t _know_ that you aren’t insulting me right now…” Doc said with a laugh and gave Xisuma a hug. A small frame in his big arms. 

“What on earth are you up to out here in the middle of nowhere, man?” Xisuma asked with a good-natured chuckle and let his eyes wander across the several monuments to Doc’s madness. Doc grinned. “Science!”

“Has that got to do with your cult too, or am I safe from that?”

“Everything has to do with the goat if I want it to, man,” Doc said with a devilish smile. “No, dude, this is me conquering the button.”

“I had a hunch it had something to do with that.”

Doc laughed. Yeah, the presence of approximately 27 button-replicas may have tipped Xisuma off there. But Doc would not go into further detail on these experiments of his – Xisuma had far too much fun being one of those nuisances who liked to press the button right in front of him, only to see him slump in defeat at the timer starting over.

“I’ll give you a tour of my premises of lunacy once I’ve got that red belt secured,” he said and Xisuma laughed. “Premises of lunacy, that’s what I’ll refer to your base as from now on.”

“Nice. But really man, why are you here?”

“You know, the usual. Admin duties, checking up on things and getting some _really_ strange readings from your general whereabouts.”

“And you still come to check what I’m doing, like I don’t cause this kind of thing every other day.”

“You haven’t as of late, I thought you’d, I don’t know, learned something.”

Doc laughed at the statement, delivered in that signature deadpan voice. “Everything I’ve ever learned I shall use for evil.”

“Did EX implant you with a remote access to your brain that’s just now getting activated, is that why you’re making my readings go all wonky?” Xisuma asked with an amused arch of a brow. 

Doc shook his head with a smile. “I don’t need Ex for that, come on man. Would love to have the bastard back for a bit sometimes, but wherever he is – if he can mess with you from all the way there, then he deserves that win just for managing that.”

Xisuma smiled. “Yeah, you’re not wrong there. Anyways, nothing weird’s been going on here? When I checked the data today I thought spawn got nuked for a second from how crazy everything was looking.”

“Nah, man, other than me replicating this bloody button like 87 times, nothing. Nothing I noticed anyways.”

Xisuma eyed him from the side. “We’ll have to keep an eye on it, maybe the communicator was whacked out.”

“Yeah maybe man. Have you ever replaced it?”

“Nah. It’s been working fine, so I didn’t need to. Maybe the time has come.”

Doc nodded, and they stood side by side, looking over Doc’s premises of lunacy. The sun was beginning to set. 

“Come on, let’s get back,” Xisuma finally said, clapping Doc on the back. “It’s getting late. Button was on purple though when I came over here, so you might as well get some sleep for a change.”

“I don’t know. Don’t you think that would be acting _too_ sane, for me?”

“Oh, definitely.”

Their communicators gave two perfectly synched pings.

FalseSymmetry: < X, got a sec? >

Xisuma: < be right there >

“She asked me to take a look at her portal,” he explained when Doc gave him a questioning glance. 

“Ah. Man I haven’t been to Falsie’s base in forever, I bet it’s epic.” 

“Dude, she’s got some incredible stuff going on, you should come along and take a look!”

Doc adjusted his elytra and dug out his rockets, shaking his head at the suggestion. “Next time. I’ve got to be done for the day.”

“Alright. See you around!”

“See you around, man. And don’t let those readings cause you too much of a headache. Doctor’s orders.”

Xisuma made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a groan, and together they flew off, back to the portal and through into the hazy red dimension that lay through it. When their ways had parted, Doc paused for a second. He’d go check the button. Just to see how things looked. 

When he got there, the light was still glowing softly above the purple stripe of the rainbow, just like Xisuma had said. Even if someone stayed within range for the entire night – which was doubtful, since nobody but Doc was actually that out of their minds – he’d have plenty of time to come back in the morning. 

He turned around to make his way home – and froze.

There, on the stone chair he had abandoned, glowing at him in the brightest red, was a singular, lonely apple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doc's button saga: [HERE](https://youtu.be/bJLL-q2WSsA?t=615)
> 
> Blaze Security System: [HERE](https://youtu.be/Vvvk5DWZ5Rk?t=1395)


	3. Ping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains what can be interpreted as descriptions of self-harm and/or suicide.  
> I want to stress that it is meant to be considered within the boundaries of minecraft logic, i.e. it's just a temporary loss of hearts and dying means you just respawn, no real harm done. While I personally don't consider this to be incredibly graphic or detailed, I'm not the measure of all things and you know better what you're okay with reading.
> 
> So, if you're uncomfortable or unsure about this at all: I will put a summary of the chapter in the end notes, so if you'd like to still read the story, you can find out how the plot continues without reading this chapter in detail.

Doc blinked. For a second, he could see the void again – as if he’d been taken out of this world and put back into the previous one, it was clear as day in front of his eyes. The endlessly stretching darkness. The lonely chair, the chains reflecting the faint light that came from the portal behind him. Ex’s red-clad figure, lounging on his throne with an apple in his hand, waiting for him.

Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone and Doc shook his head almost violently. But the apple remained. 

Almost fearfully, he stepped up to the chair and hesitantly reached out. It was an apple like any other – red, round and smooth in his hand. But how had it _gotten_ here? Nobody really carried apples around for food anymore. And nobody knew about their little inside joke either, of Doc delivering apples to Ex in the void. 

Had someone left this here for when he came back to watch over the button again?

But why would they? Why leave him a singular apple while he wasn’t even there? 

None of it made any sense to Doc. He pulled up the tab list. Xisuma, False, Cub, Joe. None of them seemed likely to have done this.

Docm77: < Who left me a single apple for buttonwatch lol >

Joehillssays: < how do you know it wasn’t the apple who left you >

Joehillssays: < it demands sacrifice for you to reclaim the throne >

Docm77: < So it wasn’t you >

Joehillssays: < No >

Joehillssays: < I don’t play games with gods >

Xisuma: < It wasn’t there when I came to yours. Maybe False had to shorten her waiting time. >

FalseSymmetry: < Pf. I don’t need to be near the button if Doc isn’t there to be thwarted >

Docm77: < Falsie :-( >

Cubfan135: < Was about to disappear for the night and now there’s a mystery apple >

Cubfan135: < What would I have done if I’d missed that >

Joehillssays: < I know right. riveting. >

Cubfan 135: < I’ll see you guys tomorrow :D >

FalseSymmetry: < Good night Cub! o/ >

Cubfan135: < Night! >

< Cubfan135 left the game >

Doc stared at his communicator for a bit longer, but no more messages came through. He was already about to turn it off and let it be, when he stilled. His hand hovered over his wrist. What if…

He could feel his heart beat in his throat and his blood rush in his ears when he exited out of the messaging channel. The other one was still there, left forgotten for months. He opened it up. Glowing at him were forgotten messages, inconsequential banter from a different time.

EvilXisuma: < Hey Doc >

EvilXisuma: < Before we leave, go ask Mumbo if he’s into sports >

Docm77: < Why? >

EvilXisuma: < Looking at that sphere he has for a base, he may just be into baseball >

Docm77: < Wow >

Docm77: < I don’t care that it’s the last day, you don’t get to come to the circle of doom tonight >

EvilXisuma: < Meet me below then >

EvilXisuma: < in the circle pit >

Docm77: < I hate you >

EvilXisuma: < >:-D >

A fond smile spread over Doc’s face. That idiot. 

And yet his throat still felt constricted as he sent a message into the channel for the first time in ages.

Docm77: < Ex? >

But even though Doc stood motionless for a long while, staring at the glowing screen, no answer ever came. He didn’t know why he’d ever expected one, but he knew that deep down he’d been clinging to the possibility.

He still hadn’t set his spawn.

Doc kept on going through his days, mostly tinkering with the button replicas and eyeing the machine up from afar, trying to determine its inner workings. He helped Tango with some blueprints for some big, super-secret, insanely complex game he was preparing to build. 

Seeing some the concepts, Doc had some serious doubts about his own madness for a moment – what Tango was planning looked incredible, and not far off from being absolutely impossible for a single person to manage. Then again, this was Tango. And Tango had some serious perseverance in him when it came to big, work-intense projects like this. 

Maybe it was that Doc could feel himself losing his drive again, but the more that feeling gnawed at him from inside of his chest, the more he grit his teeth and pushed himself into his work. He would not let this overtake him. 

‘Ping!’

Doc glanced down at his wrist. His communicator had started going off randomly again. Every now and again it would go off in little bursts of notifications, and even when he double-checked all possible channels, there were no messages for him to find. 

Especially not on Ex’s channel, yet he found himself opening it up every time. But this time again, there was no message to be found anywhere. 

Doc rolled his eyes and readied his elytra. He’d worry about this later. It was finally time for him to leave these replicas behind and grab the real thing by the horns, so to speak. With a whistle of rockets, he zoomed up into the sky – only to plummet suddenly, halfway to the portal that he’d built a little ways away to not run the risk of piglins messing with his several redstone circuits. 

Doc cursed, trying desperately to switch to his spare elytra in time while he felt air rush past him, and the ground was rapidly coming very close. He’d only just managed to tug his spare free from his pockets when he met the ground in a decidedly loveless parody of an embrace. 

‘Ping!’

Coughing and cursing through the quite considerable pain, Doc let his spare wings be and instead, with decidedly too shaky hands, dug out a health potion. At least he had some on him, thank heavens!

‘Ping!’

Doc groaned when the pain began to subside slowly, by way of spiking in waves whenever he tried to tense his muscles, attempting to open the potion. Whose bright idea had it been to use corked bottles for these things? 

‘Ping!’

Finally, he managed to open the bottle up and gave a sigh of relief when the potion began to take effect. 

‘Ping!’

“Jeez, what is your _problem_ ,” Doc grumbled and pulled the communicator screen up.

Nothing.

Really now? he thought and closed the screen again.

‘Ping!’

“No!” Doc said pointedly and focused on switching his elytra, rather than giving the damn thing the time of day again. When he was done, he felt good as new and the communicator, too, had stopped throwing a tantrum. 

Checking the wings one last time, Doc got himself in order and once again flew off into the sky again. Time to get to that button!

When he arrived, the place was deserted. It had gotten late again, and other than Xisuma – of course, this guy seemed to never sleep anymore – only Cleo and Joe were still on the tab list. Luckily, these two at least tended to stay out of his way when it came to the button. 

Doc swooped down from the red, hazy skies of the nether just behind the button’s rather bland looking backside, compared to the colourful front. He stretched himself out and grinned. Time to wait for the red for one last – 

When he turned the corner and his chair came into view, Doc may as well have forgotten his own name. Once again, there was an apple. Lonely and red, right there on his throne. 

After a second of being frozen, Doc walked up with long, almost angry steps and grabbed the apple from the cold stone seat. Just like the other one, it was nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever. Just an apple, round and smooth and red like any other. 

Okay, this one had to have been Joe. Maybe Xisuma if he was in one of his shenanigan-y moods, but Doc’s money was on Joe. He opened up the communicator, and for the second time in as many minutes felt like the universe had punched him square in the face. 

Next to the little tab on the screen that led to his messaging channel with Ex, there was a little, glowing dot, signifying an unread message. Doc reflexively just dropped down into his chair. His chest was hollow, his legs felt like jelly and he didn’t know where he was or whether he was coming or going anymore. He opened up the channel.

Nothing. It was as empty as it had been.

Was he _actually_ going insane?!

Doc growled and punched the chair underneath him, regretting the decision as soon as he’d followed the impulse, because damn, that one hurt, and he had not had the presence of mind to use his much sturdier metal hand for the action.

‘Ping!’

The screen flickered meekly, but nothing changed. Doc stilled. The numb pain in his hand, combined with the flicker of the screen were suddenly giving him the focal point he’d needed to be able to think clearly again. And oh, if it didn’t seem like he’d discovered something _crucial_ here.

He hopped off the chair and rummaged around until he found the shulker that he used to carry his scaffolding around. Soon enough, he was climbing on top of the button and building himself a rather precarious looking contraption that added just a bit more height for him to climb up to. 

If tunnel vision could be applied to thoughts, then Doc was definitely experiencing it right now. He was unable to think of anything but this, he _needed_ to test this frankly _wild_ hypothesis of his, and he needed to do it _right now_.

Standing up on his scaffolding, Doc’s eyes fixed themselves on the communicator screen. This would hurt, but he knew his limits. He’d be fine. He took a step into nothing and plummeted down, hitting the ground with a nasty crack. 

Ouch. Well, the elytra incident hat been worse. 

But Doc was too intently fixated on the screen for any pain to even register in his brain. 

‘Ping!’

There it was, and he felt something explode inside of him when the screen flickered meekly as soon as the sound reached his ears. 

‘Ping!’

There was the _something_ that he hadn’t been able to place, the _something_ that had not let him out of its grasp once since he’d come here and that he had failed to understand.

It was a connection. It was the tether that kept him from being truly at home in this world, it was where the universe wanted to pull him to when he flicked out of the place he had been. It was what had them coming back to spawn in every new world, as soon as they’d set it at ground zero. 

But, and Doc felt hysterical at how much this filled him with pure, unadulterated _joy_ – Doc had _never set his spawn._

He was not tethered to this world, and he wasn’t tethered to the last – he was tethered to _the in-between_. 

And all Doc could think as he feverishly climbed back up his scaffolding tower, was that there was another who was tied to the in-betweens of the universe. Another, who knew how to bend them to his will, use them at his leisure, slip through them like they were open doors.

Ex had the power to reach into the in-betweens, to slip through chunk borders, to manipulate the void. All Doc had to do was meet him halfway. And if his spawn was neither here nor there, then if he _died_ – 

His feet were at the edge of the tower, his eyes fixed on the bedrock below, and his hand clasped the apple so tightly it almost hurt. Somewhere along the one track his brain was running away on like it was being chased by the very sanity that would have kept him in check, Doc thought to message Xisuma.

Docm77: < Hey X, I’ve got an experiment. Don’t be alarmed it I’m gone for a bit >

Xisuma: < …what??? >

Xisuma: < Care to elaborate??? >

But Doc was already too far gone, too absorbed in the tempting pull of this theory that seemed oh so sound to him. He took a step. The ground sped towards him.

< Docm77 fell out of the world >

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUMMARY, for those who chose to skip this chapter due to the warning:
> 
> \- Doc questions the other Hermits who are on tab at this time about the apple - Cub, Joe, False and Xisuma  
> \- all of them deny having anything to do with it  
> \- Doc decides to check his and Ex's messaging channel for the first time in ages, and send a message to see what happens  
> \- Nothing. Nothing is what happens.  
> \- Doc still has not set his spawn  
> \- He goes on as normal for a while, losing a bit of his drive but pressing on with work  
> \- The communicator is pinging at random again with no messages coming through  
> \- Doc's elytra runs out of durability when he's on his way to return to the button from where he's built his test replicas  
> \- He gets hurt but has a health potion to take care of that. Communicator pings like mad  
> \- When he returns to the button, he finds yet another apple in his chair  
> \- Wanting to ask the other Hermits about it, he opens the communicator to find it showing an unread message in his and Ex's channel  
> \- There is nothing there when he opens it  
> \- When he punches something in frustration, the communicator goes off again  
> \- This gives Doc an idea, and he builds himself a little scaffolding tower on the button so he can test his theory by taking some damage  
> \- When he does, the communicator goes off once more  
> \- Doc connects the _something_ he'd kept going on about to the connection that keeps them all tethered to the world spawn  
> \- _But_ , since in this fic they set their world spawn manually and he has not done that, he realizes that he's not connected to a world but rather the space between worlds - the void  
> \- And who does Doc know that plays with the in-betweens of worlds and chunks a lot? Exactly, Ex. And since Doc is just a bit maniacal at this point, he doesn't really stop to think much more about it  
> \- He messages Xisuma like "Hey uh, I might be nowhere to be found for a bit"  
> \- To which Xisuma replies "????? Excuse me?????"  
> \- Doc hops off his scaffolding one more time, reducing his health to zero  
> \- < Docm77 fell out of the world >


	4. Hello, Doc

When Doc opened his eyes, it was dark around him. His feet were not touching ground – none of his body was touching anything at all, actually. He was floating as though he was surrounded by water, but there was no sensation tied to it, and he wasn’t sure he liked that all that much.

When he lifted his hand he could see it just barely, illuminated by the red glow emanating from his arm and his eye, and clasping an apple. Wasn’t that ironically familiar.

When he tapped his nails on his metal arm, he heard the sound dull and quiet, as if it was merely an echo of something that was being erased from existence. He didn’t dare to speak. He feared what his voice would sound like in a place that was defined by the absence of things.

For a while, he just let himself drift – if he was indeed drifting – through the endlessly stretching dark. He wondered if this was better or worse than Ex had had it. He’d at least had ground beneath his feet and the chains at his wrists to anchor himself in the void. Come to think of that, this couldn’t be the same void, could it? If gravity even applied here, then Doc would have to be falling, but he didn’t feel like he was and he also seemed to be entirely unable to reach any tangible floor, no matter how he stretched. 

Slowly, he felt a sense of panic rise in his throat. This was indeed what he’d anticipated in his feverish frenzy that suddenly felt so long ago, but… now what? He hadn’t bothered to finish the thought, and now that he was once more beginning to think, he was guessing that he really should have. 

Doc closed his eyes. The damn apple.

He wanted to blame it on the apple, on the push it had given him towards this, but he may as well have blamed it on Bdubs and Keralis for blowing up the goat – or on Mumbo, for making the button and giving him an excuse to get swallowed up by his thoughts.

But really, he only had himself to blame. He hadn’t tried to let go – he hadn’t even wanted to. Of Ex and whatever that was that they had. The _something_. The connection. 

He hadn’t wanted to because with Ex, it had been so easy to fall into a rhythm, especially after he’d gotten out of the void. Doc knew, deep down, that it had been largely due to the fact that Ex just didn’t have anyone else to be this close to. There had been nobody else visiting him in the void, nobody else coaxing him out of that shell of his and building a connection. Doc had gotten to be this close because he had been Ex’s only option. 

And it had taken getting himself trapped in the void to admit it. But what did it change? The other Hermits hadn’t been unkind to him during their last few weeks in the old world, and yet Ex had hung around Doc more often than not.

‘Ping!’

The sound was so faint that Doc almost missed it. The communicator was too bright when he pulled it up. There was that dot again, on the tab of his and Ex’s messaging channel. Doc rolled his eyes almost wearily. This again. He should have fixed that thing before he – 

EvilXisuma: < …Doc? >

And suddenly, the screen began flickering like mad as message upon message appeared in rapid succession. Doc stared, overwhelmed by the sheer disbelief of it all. It had to be hundreds of them that Ex had sent him since they’d arrived in their respective new worlds. Letters to nobody. 

EvilXisuma: < Dude, the place it spat me out in? Insane. You should see this >

EvilXisuma: < These mountains are so wicked. You could make a giant goat out of any of these! >

EvilXisuma: < This thing really doesn’t work across worlds huh >

EvilXisuma: < I hate it when you’re right. Why with this of all things did you have to be right?! >

Doc scrolled further down the sheer endless list of messages. 

EvilXisuma: < I’m gonna wait for a thunderstorm, catch myself a charged creeper and call him Doc >

EvilXisuma: < Then I’ll surround him with cats >:-) >

And further down.

EvilXisuma: < Damn helmet got stuck again. Took me like half an hour to get out! >

EvilXisuma: < Where are you and your ham-fisted hands when I need you! Unbelievable >

And even further still. 

EvilXisuma: < I’ve found emeralds. >

EvilXisuma: < Made me think of you. Green and all. >

Doc could feel tears pricking at his eyes and try as he might, he could not blink them away. He let the list of glowing words scroll past until he reached the very end.

EvilXisuma: < I think this place is cursed lol >

EvilXisuma: < The chunks are all messed up when I slip through. It’s like I can see another dimension, dude >

EvilXisuma: < I miss you. You and your stupid crazy science brain could figure this out for me >

Docm77: < Ex? >

EvilXisuma: < …Doc? >

Doc’s fingers were shaking when he went to reply. He’d been right. He’d been right! In the in-between, Ex could reach him. He had to, he just had to.

Docm77: < Ex I’m in the void. I’m in the in-between >

The answer came so fast, he was almost sure Ex had been staring at his screen the entire time Doc had taken in all of his messages he could now suddenly see.

EvilXisuma: < You’re WHAT >

Docm77: < Can you get me? >

He was shaking like a leaf. It had to work. It had to. It _had_ to.

For a minute or two, nothing happened. He was floating suspended in absolute darkness, silence pressing on his ears, the messaging screen static in front of his eyes. His heart beat so fervently, he was sure he was about to pass out.

And then there was a flash of light, like a rip in the fabric of time – someone grabbed his arm, and suddenly the darkness was torn away and he stood under an unfamiliar sky, blinking into the painful light of a glaring sun he’d never seen. The apple fell to the ground. And in front of him, in the familiar red armour, with that white hair of his glowing like a halo around his head, staring at him with an expression that could only be described as absolutely _flabbergasted_ –

_”Ex.”_

Ex stared at him, blinking incredulously. “Hello, Doc.”

Doc blinked, and then he burst into helpless, hysterical laughter. The tears that had thus far not left his eyes were rolling down his cheeks, and before he knew it his voice broke into sobs, and the little droplets of tears turned into rivers, but he just kept on laughing through it because he well and good had no idea what he was feeling anymore at all. 

“Ex,” was all he managed in between sounds that were both sobs and bursts of laughter but yet were neither, _”Ex.”_

Ex was just watching him, helpless disbelief written all over his features. He was still holding on to Doc’s arm, and Doc just covered that hand that always seemed just a little too small to him with his own and held it, held on to it like it was the anchor he’d been missing all this time. 

“Doc, what in the _world_ – ” Ex began, but Doc cut him off.

“Don’t – I need – give me a second here. God, you’re _here_. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I’ve been here for a while, believe it or not. I’m more concerned about the fact that you are.”

Doc laughed, his voice thick with the tears that began to subside now. His breathing was finally slowly evening out again.

„Yeah. Yeah you have a point, I – okay first of all, can you please give me a hug? I’ll be back to normal in a bit, but until then could you just – or can – uh – ”

Doc paused to take a deep breath before he let his hand slip away from where it had clung to Ex’s on his arm and simply gave Ex a weary look that betrayed just how much he did not have the energy to keep up any pretence anymore. Not even one that they both saw right through anyways.

“I just want to hold you for a bit.”

Ex’s expression cracked, and for a split-second, Doc could see it break apart into _something_ – something so intimately familiar, before Ex took a step that was barely restrained in how _urgent_ it was, and buried himself in Doc’s arms. 

Doc felt all the tension inside of him melt away. There were explanations to give, conversations to be had – but right now, none of that mattered. Nothing at all mattered but that oh so familiar feeling of Ex in his arms and the white, unkempt ribbons of his hair against his face as he dropped it down to rest on Ex’s head. 

On his back, he could feel how Ex was digging his hands into his lab coat while he pressed his face into Doc’s chest, clinging, holding, in that particular way that screamed of a longing for a closeness that lay deeper than even the tightest embrace. 

“I fucking missed you.”

They didn’t know when they’d given up on their legs holding them up and instead had sunken into the grass below, half sitting, half kneeling in a tangled pile of limbs, faces buried somewhere against the other’s body and wholly unwilling to let the moment pass. As long as they stayed like this, there was nothing else to be dealt with. Only them, holding on to something that should have been an impossibility.

Finally, after a long time, Doc pulled himself back. Ex blinked owlishly up at him from where he had been burying his face against his chest this entire time. Doc cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Okay, I – I think I’m back to normal.”

Ex snorted incredulously. “You are nowhere _near_ back to normal. You’re _here. How in the world are you here?!”_

Doc opened his mouth to respond, but before he could get a word out, Ex had already cut him off again. 

“Don’t even start with me. I don’t need to listen to explanations from a guy who decided it was a good idea to build _and use_ an impossible portal and make friends with _me_ of all people, after I tried to _kill_ you no less. I don’t even – I don’t even want to _know_ what in blazes you’ve gotten yourself into to get here!”

Somewhere along, Ex’s voice was getting shaky around the edges. Doc just looked at him and blinked, unable to come up with a response. His brain felt like his reactions had to be lagging behind the things they were supposed to be answering to. Ex stared back, a sudden wild, almost frantic determination burning in his eyes.

“So before I lose my mind on you for whatever absolutely insane thing that you’ve got to have done to end up here, will you just fucking kiss me already?!”

For a second, Doc was stunned because Ex had never allowed himself to be this _vulnerable_ – not like this, where Doc could hear his voice quiver and some strange despair was written all across his face. He’d never taken initiative – not like that, not when it came to this.

But just as quickly, he was pushing all of these thoughts aside to take hold of Ex’s face and pull him in, feeling Ex wrap his arms around his neck and cling on to him as if for dear life.

And once again, everything around them vanished. There was only Ex’s body moulding so incredibly easily to his, the press of his lips against Doc’s own and _oh_ , the way he just _melted_ into the kiss. 

When they came apart, Ex only reluctantly loosened the grip he had on Doc’s shoulders. He shook his head with a disbelieving sigh. 

“How are you back again. _How_ are you here?!” he whispered, staring down into their laps, his arms still curled around Doc’s neck. “You… I can’t believe you’re _still_ coming back to me when there’s _worlds_ between us.”

“I’ll always come back,” Doc heard himself say. 

Ex gave him a small, helpless laugh. “How did you do it? Another portal?”

Doc gulped. “No, I…”

He looked at Ex’s face, pale and scarred and pretty, and then the red eyes found his, and Doc didn’t have it in him to meet them.

“Doc.”

“I died,” he whispered, knowing his voice would fail him if he tried to speak any louder. Ex just stared at him. “You what.”

“I didn’t set my spawn, and… I had this thought when my elytra failed and – ”

“Wait. Wait what do you mean, you died and didn’t – ”

“I didn’t set my base spawn.”

The hands on his back froze. He couldn’t look at Ex’s face. 

“What,” Ex whispered, his voice strained with tension. Doc couldn’t say anything. The full weight of how _stupid_ he’d been was suddenly hitting him, now that he was sitting here under a strange sky with a sun that didn’t know him any more than he knew it, and Ex in front of him whom he should not have been able to reach.

“Doc, have you lost your _mind?!_ You didn’t – anything could have happened to you, you could have _died for good_ , you had no way of knowing where you would end up! You could have been lost in the void forever, you – don’t ever do that again, don’t you _ever_ do that to me again, I – I could have lost you, you stupid fucking idiot!”

Finally, Doc managed to look back up. Ex had let go of him, hands gripping tightly at his own thighs as if he was trying to steady himself. His face was twisted in something so painful that Doc felt it tear at his heart. 

“You could’ve gone god knows where,” Ex whispered, and his lip quivered ever so very slightly. “You could have – _Doc.”_

Tears were brimming in his eyes and Doc couldn’t bear the sight of it any longer. “The apple,” he said, picking it up from where it lay next to them, forgotten in the grass. “Was that you?”

Ex stared at him, taken aback. “I – what?!”

“It was on my chair, in front of the button. None of the Hermits left it there. It was so – so on the nose, you know?”

“The button? What button?”

“A machine with a rainbow and lights on it.”

Ex blinked. “That was your world.”

“So it was you?”

Ex nodded slowly, staring at the apple in Doc’s hand. “Sometimes… sometimes, when I was teleporting through the chunk borders, it was like another world came in for a second or two. I – it was weird, it wouldn’t let me in, and I was so confused by it cause that’s never happened before. I tried leaving something to see if I could and – it worked, but when I saw it again, the apple was gone. I thought maybe it hadn’t actually worked, I didn’t keep track of whether I actually had one less than before, so I did it again to see if it would go differently.”

Doc turned the apple in his hands. Ex slowly reached out to lay his hand on it. 

“It looked like the throne in the void. I – I don’t know, I guess I was hoping that somehow, it would be a way to you, but… I didn’t really believe that would ever work.”

“When the communicator connected in the void, I couldn’t believe – you sent me so many messages” Doc said, and Ex blushed ever so slightly.

“It gets lonely when you’re all alone, no matter how endless the world is around you. Without someone to share it with, it seems like for all its worth, it has nothing to offer.”

Doc nodded. “Yeah. I built the goat, by the way.”

“Did you really!”

Doc grinned. “Yeah! A giant goat statue, right in a big old mountain!”

Ex laughed. “Amazing. Do a crazy fire trap next!”

Doc thought of the blaze security system, and he chuckled. “You’ll be delighted to hear that I already have.”


	5. Choke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, one more warning just in case: This is the chapter where the explicit rating comes in! Last chance to bail if you don't wanna read the lemon.
> 
> Also PSA, this is fanfic-logic sex, where spit is just as good as lube, properly preparing yourself/ your partner is semi-optional and condoms are pointless and basically nonexistent. Be safe out there and use protection.
> 
> Now read and be ~~horny~~ merry!

“So how on earth did you get that insane idea that dying with no set base spawn would be in any way helpful?” Ex asked. It had gotten late, and he’d led Doc into a base carved into the mountainside.

Dim but warm lighting flickered over a bunch of chests and shulkers tucked away in a careless heap in a corner, some haphazard carpeting and a couple of wooden support beams surrounded a bed, some chairs and a large table scattered with all sorts of wondrous things. Other than that, the cave Ex called his home looked like he hadn’t bothered to keep nature in check at all, as branches and vines and all sorts of greenery just crept across the bare stone walls and around the singular generous window, outside of which Doc could see the frankly most wild looking mountains he had ever seen in his life. They reached up into the sky like sharp, jagged spikes, some sides seemed like they’d been chopped clean off with a ginormous axe, and in between them, there were endless yawning pits with no discernible bottom to them.

Just as rough and jagged as the world he now called his home was Ex’s voice as he brought up Doc’s stunt once again. Doc reflexively winced at how sharp the words were. 

“I don’t know, I – the communicator was going off again,” he said, and he saw Ex’s eyes dart to the panel that Doc had installed in his armour back in the void. “And I didn’t – I didn’t think much of it, I thought it broke again. But then I saw that it was saying I hadn’t read something in our channel, and – there was nothing there of course, but I – I had this, this thought when I found the second apple. Because that’s when I found the notification, and I felt like I was going insane so I punched something and, of course I got hurt from it, but that’s when it made a noise again.

“And I thought, that’s crazy, that can’t be what it is but – I hadn’t set my spawn. And everytime I got hurt, you know, it got me closer to the point where I should be appearing at spawn if I did die. It must’ve been what got Xisuma’s readings all whacked out too, he mentioned that… and I-I had this thought that – that I didn’t _have_ a spawn in this world, but I couldn’t go back to the old world either, of course. So I’d have to go _somewhere_ , somewhere in between the old world and the new one, and I… I’m sorry, I couldn’t think straight, all I could think was that if I went to an in-between, I’d go somewhere you could reach.”

Doc gave Ex a shaky, apologetic smile. Ex was listening intently, his expression unmoving as if it had been set in stone. 

“You’ve always been able to go through the in-betweens. You could manipulate the void when you were there, you never used our nether portals to get anywhere in the overworld because you just slipped through the chunks. And somehow I just – I _knew_ that my communicator wasn’t broken. It was trying to let your messages through when I was hurt and closer to the in-between, but the connection wasn’t enough. It only worked after I… well…”

He trailed off, and Ex’s stony expression cracked as he shook his head. “Promise me you won’t ever do that again.”

“I can’t. Not if that’s the only way back to you.”

“You – !”

Ex stepped towards him, crowding him against one of the rough stone walls, his hands pressing angrily into Doc’s shoulders as he held him in place. His eyes were burning. “You stupid, stubborn lump, you promise me right now that you’re not going to put yourself into any more ludicrous danger than you already have! I am not worth this kind of risk, _nothing_ is! I hated being apart from you, but it’s so much worse if I can’t be sure you aren’t up to some _lunacy_ that could have you in heaven knows what kind of trouble!”

Doc stared at him. The wild and so unbelievably _honest_ eyes, the brows furrowed in pained anger. Something desperate washed over his features. “Doc, please, I _need_ you to promise me that you won’t do something that stupid ever again. I can’t live every day worrying about whether or not you’re okay when you’re out of my reach.”

“I tried,” Doc said, voice cracking around the edges. “I tried so hard to just go on, because you weren’t _there_ but I knew you were out here somewhere, living in another world. But I just couldn’t, I… even at the best of times, even when I was really happy and doing all sorts of things, I could do anything but set my spawn. I couldn’t tie myself to a world you weren’t in.”

The press of Ex’s hands against his shoulders got even more urgent, and his expression became so pained that Doc thought he would have to fall apart just from seeing it. 

“And what if I told you that? What if I told you that I put myself in such a stupid, stupid danger just because I missed you? Would you just be okay with that?”

“No,” Doc replied almost inaudibly. Ex was right, he _knew_ Ex was right. He didn’t even know why he was being so stubborn. And it was hard to stay stubborn when looking into Ex’s eyes that were so open and _unguarded_ that it had him choked up.

“I promise,” he whispered, finally taking Ex’s hands in his own and pulling them down from his shoulders so he could hold them against his chest like they were a fragile treasure of immeasurable value. “I promise I won’t do it again.”

Something hung in the air around them, weighing heavy on their shoulders and heavier on their hearts as they read it in each other’s eyes, knowing this was not the time they’d say it and make it too real to be deniable anymore. 

Ex breathed out, relief radiating off of him like a comforting warmth. He shook his head, and the white, ribbon-y strands of his hair swayed gently with the motion. One of his hands came up to cradle Doc’s cheek for just a moment. “Come to bed. There’s no point spinning in circles about the fact that you’re an idiot, and despite that I still trust you to keep your promise. Heaven knows that’s a testament to my own stupidity.”

Doc chuckled. Yeah. This was more like the Ex he knew, but still... 

“You’ve changed,” he said while Ex went to kill most of the lights throughout the cave. Strangely enough, it didn’t make the place any less homely, despite the sudden lack of golden lighting warming the naked stone walls. 

“Have I? I’ve been living with myself this entire time so I didn’t quite notice.”

He seemed so very relaxed. Doc couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face. “You’ve lost some of your edge.”

Ex snorted. “I’ll give you some edge if that’s what you’re after.”

Doc laughed and let Ex mock-kick him onto the bed, sprawling dramatically as he did. “You seem more content where you are. With the Hermits, it always felt like you were tense and had to act abrasive. You’re more at peace now, I’d say.”

“With no people around to get me all riled up, I think I’ve lost a bit of my need for pre-emptive anger as a reaction to things,” Ex mused as he took off his armour. When he looked around, Doc could see the helmet somewhere under the general chaos covering the table. It looked like he hadn’t worn it in a while. 

“You have an easier time in solitude than in a group, don’t you?”

Ex carelessly kicked off the last of his armour plates, extinguished the last light and turned to look at Doc, illuminated faintly by the stars and the moon shining in. There he was, that pale frame, clad in black underwear, just like Doc remembered. “In a way. Never having anyone else around is another kind of difficult.”

Doc gave him a lopsided smile. “Well. You could deal with me for a bit?” 

He held his arms up from where he was lying, an invitation that Ex followed all too willingly. He crawled on top of Doc and let him wrap his slender frame up in his arms. 

“I had no idea that dealing with you would be so similar to suffering a heart attack.”

“Xisuma would agree with you on that front.”

“Does he know you’re here?”

“He knows I’m not _there_ anymore. I told him not to worry if I don’t show up for a bit.”

Ex shook his head against where it rested on top of the lab coat. “He’ll worry.”

“I know.”

Ex lifted himself up with a sigh. “Get out of those jeans, you heathen. Nobody sleeps with jeans on.”

“You just want me to get naked.”

“A convenient side-effect,” Ex said dryly, and Doc laughed while he freed himself of his trousers and lab coat and dropped them somewhere next to the bed. Ex held up the covers and they crawled underneath, slotting together in a tangle of limbs so easily as if they’d done it every night of their lives.

They just lay there for a while, holding on, letting their respective disbelieving thoughts of ‘You’re _here_ , you’re really here’ come and go. Finally, Doc broke the silence. 

“Ex?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m sorry. I – I let myself get eaten up by how much I missed you, and I… I didn’t… think straight anymore. I was so – so caught up in myself that I didn’t even stop to think about what I was doing or how you felt. Or if… if you wanted me here.”

“I _do_ ,” Ex responded insistently, shifting around on the pillows so he could meet Doc’s eyes. “I do. I – it’s still hard for me not to try and mask these things, but I missed you, I really did. I’m glad that you’re here, if you couldn’t tell.”

“No, I could,” Doc interjected with a little smile, and Ex gave him a gentle shove. 

“I was a bit too overwhelmed for my normal filter to set in that usually makes it rather difficult for me to be all that emotional. The reason I was so mad about what you did isn’t that I don’t want you here, it’s that I – I immediately thought of all the things that could have gone wrong, and the only thing worse than you being worlds away is you not being anywhere at all.”

Doc had to swallow heavily. “I got that,” he said, forcing the words past the lump in his throat. “I got that. I…”

He trailed off, not knowing what else to say, or how to say the things he knew were still hidden within him, coiled up with the _something_ that had gone to rest, now that he was here with Ex back in his arms.

„I…,“ he tried again, but no words came. Ex was still looking at him. “I know,” he said, and Doc could tell that he, too, was pushing past an invisible barrier that made it almost impossible to speak. “I know.”

Doc looked down into those red eyes he’d never been able to forget and, pulled along by a sudden, overpowering and all-encompassing wave of raw emotion, pressed his lips to Ex’s in a helpless kiss. Ex melted against him in that way he had, and Doc closed his arms around him tightly, trying to say everything he didn’t have the words or the courage to say with the way he connected their lips.

A question. A gentle, hesitant inquiry that Ex responded to by digging his nails into Doc’s side and his shoulder and pressing close, the sigh that escaped him a plea and a prayer. 

Doc answered with a low moan. He’d missed the feeling of Ex’s lips against his, of his body in his arms, and now that he had that back he felt like he was drunk on the sensation of it. Every touch, every little dig of Ex’s fingernails felt amplified, every noise he made caused Doc waves of goosebumps in the best possible ways.

His hand found its way into Ex’s hair almost instinctively. He grabbed a fistful of strands and pulled ever so slightly, and Ex tore his lips away from his with a moan. 

“You still like that, huh?”

“Only when you do it,” Ex drawled with a breathless little laugh, and Doc tightened his grip, tugged harder on Ex’s scalp. Ex arched his back, clawing at Doc’s skin and pressing his hips against him in a shameless display of want. 

Doc dug his teeth into Ex’s exposed neck. He wanted, he _needed_ to make him his own just for the night, mark him, claim him while he could. Ex gave a choked up groan and raked his nails down Doc’s back, earning him a sharp hiss. He thought of the marks Ex was leaving down his back, the way he’d be able to feel them when he moved tomorrow, if only Ex dug his claws in deep enough.

He sucked another blossoming bruise into Ex’s pale neck, and Ex in response dragged sharp scratches down his spine. Doc could feel Ex’s dick pressing against his hipbone and groaned, one of his hands coming to rest at the small of Ex’s back to press him closer. 

Ex ground down against him, gasping at the friction. One of his hands was ghosting helplessly across Doc’s chest, trapped in between them. Doc pushed him over on his back. Looming over him, he stared down at Ex’s face, the white, fanned out hair, the dark bite marks on his neck and the flush of his cheeks, and Doc wanted nothing more than to wreck him beyond his wildest dreams. 

“What are you staring at, you big oaf?” Ex asked, his voice a breathless whisper. Doc grinned and let one hand come to rest on Ex’s abdomen, just shy of the bulge in his boxers. Ex’s breath hitched. Doc fanned out his fingers, pressing down ever so slightly, and he relished the little twitch of muscles he could feel under his palm. Slowly, ever so slowly, he let his hand travel across Ex’s chest, pushing the black top up as he went. 

Ex shivered under his touch. Doc bent down to press a kiss to his lips, letting his tongue ghost over them just quickly enough for Ex to be unable to follow it with his own. He tugged at the top. “Off with it,” he whispered, and pulled away when Ex lifted his head up to try and chase his lips. 

“An eye for an eye,” Ex said, pushing himself up to drag the top over his head and toss it away. Doc grinned. “That only works if you’re wearing less than me.”

For a moment, their heated eyes locked, then Ex pulled off his boxers. “A tooth for a tooth,” he whispered as he dropped them off the bed. Doc’s grin widened. 

“No,” he just growled and pushed Ex back down into the pillows, digging his teeth into his neck. Ex threw his head back with a helpless shout when Doc sucked another mark into his skin, his big hands roaming over Ex’s body beneath him, dragging his nails over his thighs and tracing patterns across his hips.

Doc’s own dick was almost painfully hard in his boxers, but he only wanted to taste more of Ex’s skin, feel him squirm under his touches and hear more of those sweet, sweet moans that he couldn’t keep down as Doc teased him relentlessly until Ex’s hips twitched up against him, begging for more. 

“Doc, please,” Ex whimpered, melting away under Doc’s touches. Doc was burning with want. He slipped down Ex’s body, trailing kisses down his chest, letting his tongue flick against his nipple and earning a helpless mewl in return. 

He pressed the gentlest of kisses to Ex’s abdomen, just shy of where his cock was begging for attention, letting it brush his cheek just faintly before he crept further down and littered Ex’s thighs with kisses and little bites. Ex was a mess of cries and moans, one of his hands gripping the sheets beneath while the other grasped weakly at Doc’s hair that was just that little bit too far out of reach for him to be able to get a grip on it. 

Doc felt his whole body drown in waves of heated lust with every new gasp and moan, and Ex was shaking beneath him, wanton and beautiful. Doc wrapped his arms around Ex’s thighs and dug his fingertips into the soft flesh. Ex tensed up in his grip, his hips twitching up helplessly. Doc pressed a kiss to his thigh and Ex _sobbed_.

_”Doc – ”_

“What do you want?” Doc whispered, letting his breath ghost over Ex’s heated skin. Ex whimpered. 

_“You,”_ he breathed, trying and failing to push closer once again. Doc gave another bite, agonizingly close to where Ex’s neglected cock was begging for attention. And he would have teased him further, but Ex gave a moan that was so terribly desperate that Doc felt it race through his veins like lightning, and really he just wanted to feel Ex come undone under his lips more than he wanted anything else in this world.

When he finally let his tongue travel in one long line up the length of Ex’s dick, Ex shivered against him as he broke into the filthiest moan that Doc had ever heard, and it was the sweetest sound he’d ever experienced. He let Ex slip into his mouth and tasted salt and skin. Ex’s voice was a blur of high-pitched, delirious sobs above him while Doc continued to swallow him down, relishing the way Ex’s dick felt against his tongue and the way it pressed against the back of his throat when he pushed his head all the way down. 

He let Ex slip out of his mouth once more and untangled one of his hands to give him a few strokes while he sucked on the tip in the most agonizingly gentle way. Ex’s hips jerked up ever so slightly, causing a line of drool to dribble down and across Doc’s fingers. Doc pulled his hand away and took Ex down his throat again, moving his head faster, as much as he could while suppressing his gag reflex. One of Ex’s hands was curling into his hair helplessly. 

“Doc,” he sobbed, his voice so sweetly high and desperate that it sent white-hot shockwaves of lust right to Doc’s cock, and Doc took that as his cue to hollow out his cheeks and suck as he pressed a slick finger against Ex’s entrance. 

_”Doc – Doc, I’m – ”_

Doc pushed his finger inside and Ex bucked his hips upward with surprising force, pushing his dick all the way down Doc’s throat as he came, his fingers gripping Doc’s hair and his whole body shaking. Doc allowed himself a groan. It was uncomfortable and he couldn’t breathe, but he’d be damned if this wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever experienced. Ex’s hips were still twitching, his back was arched as if it wanted to snap and he’d lost all ability to even make a sound. 

Finally, he dropped back down onto the bed, every last bit of tension drained out of him, and Doc pulled away for air – although not without bending his head right back down again to give Ex one more sinful, slow lick up the length of his cock, earning him one more strangled cry. 

Ex grabbed weakly at his shoulders, and Doc let himself be coaxed back up into his arms, where Ex curled himself around him and caught him in a deep, urgent kiss that said more than Doc had ever expected to be told. Ex’s hand was sneaking its way down into his boxers, and Doc groaned into the kiss, having neglected his own pleasure for too long.

“How do you want me,” Ex whispered against his lips, and Doc almost collapsed in on himself. He pressed himself against Ex, breath hitching at the way he grasped his dick tighter, stroking just that little bit faster.  
“On your knees,” he managed, choked out between little gasps of pleasure. Ex moaned quietly, and Doc could feel a weak twitch of his dick against his thigh. 

Ex snaked his free hand down to where Doc was holding his waist and pulled his fingers up to his mouth. Doc felt heat flash through him when Ex parted his lips and slowly, _slowly_ sucked Doc’s fingers into his mouth, caressing them with his tongue in a way that made Doc’s every breath catch in his throat. He felt light-headed, like the pleasure was spiking too sweetly for him to handle and he would have to pass out if it went on, but yet he wanted it to never stop.

He dug his free hand into Ex’s back, catching strands of his hair and tugging at them. Ex hissed and pushed his head forward, taking Doc’s fingers down into his throat, and Doc’s vision just whited out for a second.

“Ex – ” he groaned as he raked angry lines down Ex’s back, “Please, I – need your mouth on me, I – ” 

Ex let his fingers slip free with a moan. He pushed Doc over onto his back and crawled down along his side until he reached his thighs, placing hot kisses and sharp little bites all over that made Doc’s hips twitch upwards shakily. 

He had the presence of mind to lift his body up enough to help Ex pull his boxers off and throw them to the side, and he watched him out of hazy eyes, glazed over with pure lust. But then Ex took him in his mouth in one swift motion, slack-jawed and wanton until Doc’s entire length was buried in his throat, and Doc threw his head back with a shout. 

_”Fuck,_ Ex – !”

Ex moaned around him and Doc almost came undone when the vibrations of the sound shot up his spine like electricity. The way Ex was positioned next to him, he managed to sneak his saliva-slick fingers around Ex’s hips and curled them around his dick, giving him a few quick, sloppy strokes that had him growing harder again and sent one more of those sweet, sweet moans from his throat all the way through Doc’s body. 

Ex pulled back, gasping for air in between helpless moans. _”Doc –_ Doc, it’s – ah, so much, I – ”

Doc twisted his arm around, and before Ex could moan in disappointment at the sudden lack of attention to his cock, Doc pushed a finger into him once more. Ex’s moan turned into a shout, and Doc groaned when he felt Ex sink his teeth into his thigh, trying to muffle the sound.

Ex wrapped his lips around Doc again almost feverishly, moaning wantonly with every little bob of his head while Doc tried and failed to suppress his groans. He pushed his finger in deeper, twisting and angling it, trying to find Ex’s sweet spot, until the way Ex collapsed against his side told him he’d found it. 

Ex was moving his hips back against his hand and Doc had to grab him by the hair and pull him off of his cock so he wouldn’t come right then and there. Ex’s moans were beginning to sound like those sweet sobs again.

„Doc – more, I – please, I need, I – ”

“What,” asked Doc, breathless and panting as he bent his finger ever so slightly, caused Ex to collapse with a shiver against his thigh. Doc twisted his hand and pulled it away, only to push back in with two fingers. Ex sobbed helplessly, pushing his hips back against Doc’s hand. 

“What do you want?” Doc asked again, because he wanted Ex to come undone, to lose his mind until he forgot his own name, he wanted to make Ex feel like he’d never felt before. 

_”Fuck me,”_ Ex gasped in a desperate whimper. Doc could feel the heat of his breath against his dick, and a shiver ran up his spine. “Please, I need you to fuck me until I scream.”

Doc groaned. He’d forgotten how much of an absolutely filthy mouth Ex could have. But he wasn’t babbling yet, wasn’t rambling like he did when he was losing his mind on pleasure, and Doc twisted and bent his fingers until Ex was a shaky mess pressed against his thigh.

 _“Doc,“_ he finally sobbed out, and Doc pulled his hand away and pushed himself up in the messed up sheets, almost in awe at the fact that his body still allowed him to move without turning to jelly. 

He knelt behind Ex, grabbed his waist with one hand and pushed his head down with the other, his dick brushing against him ever so slightly. Ex tried to push his hips back with a helpless whine but failed against Doc’s iron grip.

„Doc, _please_ – ”

Doc pushed into him in one fluid motion, and both of them let out a drawn out groan, because finally, _finally_ –

He thrust forward ever so slightly, and Ex sobbed, that sweetest, high-pitched sound of _”Yes!”_ reaching Doc’s ears, and that was all it took for Doc’s patience to snap.

He grabbed Ex’s hips with a grip that would bruise and let his hips move faster with every new thrust, and Ex was helplessly clinging to the sheets underneath him while in between his moans, Doc could hear a helpless, rambling stream of words, and every one of them pumped white-hot fire through his veins.

“God, yes just like that – want you to wreck me, god I missed you so much you’re so good – fuck, please, _please_ – ”

Doc groaned and pressed one hand into Ex’s back, digging his nails into the pale skin and dragging red, angry lines across his back. Ex cried out at the sensation, moving his hips back against Doc’s thrusts even more urgently if that was even possible anymore. 

“Yes, _yes, fuck_ please – harder, fuck just use me – fucking destroy me, ugh it’s so good – you’re so _good_ – ”

Doc could barely keep it together anymore. One of his hands was curled around Ex’s hip, his nails biting bruises into the skin, the other was gripping his hair and _pulling_ , earning him a cry drunken with lust, and Ex moved his hips back against him in a shaky rhythm. Doc felt little droplets of sweat rolling down his back, his vision was going strangely fuzzy around the edges and all he could see was Ex, his back arched and his hands gripping the sheets helplessly as he was turning into a mess of high-pitched, crying sobs of pleasure.

He was so close, too close to care about anything but the way Ex felt around him anymore. He was pounding into him like it was the only thing left keeping him alive, hard, fast and with abandon as Ex was almost falling apart under him – almost, but not quite. 

“Fuck,” he groaned and moved his hand from Ex’s hips to his dick, jerking in messy, uncoordinated strokes.

“Oh fuck Doc I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come, fuck – fuck, choke me, please – choke me like you love me – Doc I’m so close, please I’m so close please, _please_ , just hurt me, fuck – ”

Doc was on fire. He reached for Ex’s throat, lava pooling in his stomach, and when Ex’s whole body shook, he felt lightning crash through his every nerve as he came, and yet he kept on fucking Ex through it as they both fell apart at the seams and the world drowned in flashes of white-hot pleasure. 

They found themselves curled into each other, breathing heavily and letting the last high ebb away. Ex squeezed Doc’s shoulder just lightly, and Doc in return pressed a kiss to his head. 

“I missed you.”

“Yeah… I missed you too.”

And something was choking them up from saying any more, but it still lived in the night-time silence around them.


	6. Sunshine

When the sun came to chase them out of bed, it found them like it never had before – curled together in a tangle of limbs, and wholly unwilling to give up the shared warmth, or even pretend that they wanted to. Doc gave a sleepy groan when Ex moved next to him. 

“Morning, sunshine.”

“Shut up.”

Doc just laughed and caught Ex’s face in his hands to press an atrociously sweet kiss to his lips. Ex returned it with a content sigh before he pulled back and rolled his eyes. “You’re terrible.”

“Rich, coming from you.”

Ex grinned and traced over the scratches he’d left on Doc’s back the night before. Doc hissed. 

“Maybe you’re right. Come on, get up you lazy lump. Let me show you what I’ve built, now that you’re here to see it!” 

Doc pretended to ponder it for a second. “Nah!” he then said and buried his face in Ex’s mop of hair again. 

Ex gave a sigh of feigned annoyance. “And to think I was worried you ended up here accidentally.”

“What do you mean?”

Ex gave as much of a shrug as he could muster, lying down and caught under arms and blankets. “I – when I first got you out of there, I wasn’t sure you’d actually meant to _find_ me. I thought maybe you just… got sucked into the void from one of your insane experiments and needed a hand.”

He was keeping his face tucked away somewhere against Doc’s chest and Doc just blinked incredulously. Having downright _yearned_ to reunite with Ex for so long, it had never even occurred to him that Ex could ever have thought he had moved on so easily. 

“Ex.”

Ex shrugged again. “It’s not like I would have been angry. But I – I don’t know, I was just – stunned, I guess, to see you. And all I could think was that – that I, I just – I – ”

He took a deep breath, and Doc could feel him push closer, like he was determined to not let a single bit of his face be seen. His voice was a muffled whisper against Doc’s skin. “I thought if you didn’t – if you didn’t kiss me then I’d have to die.”

Doc gave a quiet laugh and squeezed Ex in his arms. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear a single thing from you when you’re the one who actually _did_ die.”

Doc smiled into the mop of hair. “And I’d die for this again.”

“For _this_ ,” Ex repeated, and now he pulled away to look Doc in the eyes. His own were blazing with something wild. 

“Yeah,” Doc said, suddenly choked up. He felt something rise in his throat – the _something_ he was so familiar with now. 

But just before he could force it to spill over his lips, Ex turned his head and looked away. He nudged Doc’s chest with his head. “Come on,” he said, voice rough. “We can’t sleep the whole day away, even if we wanted to. I’ve got some things to attend to.”

Doc swallowed the _something_ back down again and nodded. Ex pulled away, and Doc missed the warmth of him before it had even fully slipped away.

Ex took Doc on a tour of the place. It was filled with farms of all sorts, many of which needed some tending to on a regular basis. Each and every one of them had previous versions, and all of them had gotten progressively crazier and more complex with each new iteration. Doc just stared, marvelling at it all. He was used to seeing builds of incredible scale, but those were done in collaboration with other people on the basis of a steady exchange of shared resources and associated workloads. This was Ex, all alone.

“This – dude, this is insane!”

It had to be the fourth time he’d said it by now, peering down into the seemingly endless redstone bowels of Ex’s farms. It reminded him vaguely of the way Xisuma did his redstone, but with a twist that made it so unlike anyone’s work that Doc knew. It was like the building style – rough around the edges and at times heavy-handed, only to blow Doc’s entire mind with how original and different it was three steps further down. 

“I had a lot of time on my hands.”

“I can tell.”

Ex grinned. “I didn’t really know what to do with myself for a while, you know? Used to spend all my time either trying to set fire to everything or get back into a position where I could do that. So I figured, I’ll need food and I’ll need resources anyways, so I may as well focus on that for now. Turns out it was quite fun to do.”

Doc laughed. “Amazing what people will come up with when they aren’t preoccupied with homicide.”

He leaned forward to try and get a better look. It really was a marvellous mess of repeaters, observers, hoppers, and copious amounts of precariously placed redstone – each line just far enough apart from one another to avoid any cross-powering.

Ex chuckled. “Yeah. But you know how it is, I do miss my arsonist days.”

Doc was about to reply when he lost his balance on the little ledge he’d been perched on and tumbled down into the mess of wiring below. Something hit his head – or rather, he was hitting it on something as he fell – and suddenly, he found himself caught in the machine, surrounded by the familiar clicks of a redstone circuit working away around him. 

“Ouch. I’m okay!” he yelled up at the hole that he could faintly see Ex peering down from against the bright sunlight.

‘Ping!’ went the communicator. Doc glanced at it. The usual channel he shared with the Hermits blinked faintly at him, with its little notification dot. He opened it up. Nothing had come through. 

Oh dear.

“Can you catch? I’ll throw you an elytra and some rockets!”

“Can I catch? Can you slip through chunks?”

He could hear Ex scoff from up above. “I’m not the one who just fell into a hole because I’ve got no motor skills!”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, give this man his wings!”

“I will if you don’t watch your tongue!”

A pair of elytra sailed down to him and Doc plucked it out of the air when it reached him. “I can’t watch my tongue, it’s too short for me to see without a mirror!” he yelled back up. Ex groaned.

“I’m not giving you rockets if you keep that up!”

“I’ll just mess up your wiring.”

“I’ll leave you down there with the creepers!”

Doc laughed and stretched up his hands, beckoning. “They’ll just blow me up and you’ll have to come get me out the void again!”

A few rockets came falling down into his hands, one by one. He clipped the wings on and soared out of his predicament and into the sky, flying in large circles above Ex’s head before he landed in front of him. “Thanks, oh generous one.”

Ex grinned. “Still know how to address your king, I see.”

“And you’ve still not learnt how to speak to your saviour,” Doc retorted, mimicking a shackle around his wrist with his other hand. Ex rolled his eyes. “I would’ve gotten myself out of those chains eventually.”

“You keep telling yourself that.”

Ex shoved him, and Doc pushed back with a laugh. They went on to continue Ex’s round of his farms – the ones that needed tending to, and the ones that he just wanted to show off. Doc kept on jumping down into the wiring surrounding them, fascinated with some of the ways Ex had gotten the redstone to bend to his will. The way he didn’t shy away from making some of the mobs part of his constructions in ways he had never think to do. 

Somewhere, in the back of his head, he was thinking how he couldn’t wait to implement all of these things into his own builds once he got back. And it filled him with a second of suffocating, terrible sadness, knowing that despite everything he’d done and all of the pain he’d felt until he found himself face to face with Ex again, he’d have to return home. 

Because for all Ex kept Doc’s heart his prisoner more than Doc himself was willing to admit, for all the ways he felt like home – he wasn’t, really. People weren’t homes, and it wouldn’t be fair of Doc to impose that role on him. And it wouldn’t end well for either of them. 

When Ex had announced that he’d be leaving their group behind, he’d thought that it would be for the best – he’d thought that if there was no set end to their time together, they’d be a ticking time bomb, with their relationship steadily approaching a violent end. He hadn’t anticipated that the violence of it would be a consequence of the ending itself, rather than its cause.

They ended up by the shore of an ocean shortly after noon – a shore not unlike the one Doc had shared with Bdubs. It felt like ages ago now. 

He told Ex about his goat, about Beef’s silly replica of it, about the way Keralis and Bdubs had blown it up and how he’d rebuilt it. About the blaze security system that Ex had more questions about than Doc knew to answer. About Tango’s crazy plans for his insane game. 

“You’ve had quite a few adventures there, haven’t you?”

“If that’s what you want to call it,” Doc grinned. He was stretched out on his back, watching the clouds travel across the sky and listening to the waves rush gently along the shore. Ex was sitting next to him, arms wrapped around his legs. His chest plates and the arms of his armour lay discarded in the sand. 

Doc turned his head just slightly to catch a glimpse of him. Only now did he realize how _long_ Ex’s hair had gotten – when he’d left it had reached his waist, and now as he sat there and stared at the ocean, it lay in curled up strands on the sand around him. It had to go almost down to his mid-thighs when standing. 

Doc wanted to push his fingers into the ribbony strands, feel them glide across his fingers and see them shimmer in the sunlight, but all he could bring himself to do was to move his arm just a twitch further towards Ex, before try as he might, he could not move it any closer. 

For a moment, they stayed silent. Then Ex moved one arm down from where it was slung around his knees and grasped Doc’s hand, squeezing it once and then letting go again to resume his previous position. Doc’s chest tightened for just a second.

“You’ll have to go back,” Ex said into the relative silence, broken only by the noises of gentle wind brushing through grass and the ocean caressing the shore, unwilling to let the laws of the tides stop it from declaring its love for the land in an everlasting, repeating motion. 

Doc took a deep breath and reached up for Ex’s arm, coaxing his hand down again. “Yeah. But not today.”

Another hand squeeze. 

“Not today.”

They let the waves lull them into their gentle sounds for another couple of minutes. The sun was warm, and their hands loosely intertwined. It felt the kind of peaceful that a never before seen meadow evoked, covered in flowers that had never before known the trample of careless feet or the tearing of strange hands.

A meadow of flowers. Where bees came to when they went to heaven. Doc smiled.

“Did you know Xisuma is a bee now?”

“He’s what.”

“A bee. He’s got a bee-helmet on and his armour’s all yellow now. It has antennae and everything!”

Ex laughed. “Why? Has he come to the conclusion that the green makes him blend in with the grass too much?”

Doc grinned. “Nah, his first shop was all about honey this time around.”

“And he’s still in that suit, just for that one joke?”

“Yeah. He seems to rather like having some variation for a change. He had one modelled after a strider for a while. The first time I saw it I almost had a heart attack, I thought that was you with all the red.”

Ex laughed. “He could never achieve the air of evil needed to make red armour work.”

“Is that why you’re taking yours off?”

Ex froze. “What do you mean?”

Doc didn’t reply and just stared at Ex until he turned to find his eyes. Doc cast a pointed look at his upper half and then the discarded armour plating that was strewn about the sand. Ex stared back with hard eyes, almost resembling the way he’d used to look at Doc – that guarded, defensive expression he’d nearly forgotten by now.

“It’s not exactly needed when there’s nobody to attack, and nobody who attacks me.”

“You’ve never considered us actual threats, even when you ended up in the void.”

Something in Ex’s expression shifted for a split second. Doc sat up, and almost unnoticeably, Ex got just that little bit more tense than he had been a moment ago.

“I’m not suddenly one of your happy, cake-sharing, oh-so-nice friends just because I’m not always in my armour. It doesn’t decide who I am, I do.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Doc replied, trying to keep his voice calm despite the irritation he was feeling at the way Ex suddenly treated him like their history was erasable by him saying one wrong thing. Like the way they’d missed each other only counted as long as Ex was the one being missed, the one Doc was wanting, the one in control. The one who didn’t have to give up his feelings, if he truly had them at all.

“Then what’s it with you and having to make a big deal out of me taking it off for once?”

“I’m not making it into a big deal, you are! I just asked you a question!” 

Doc couldn’t help but raise his voice. Ex’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “I’m not – _I_ didn’t put myself in chains, you guys did! Yeah, I know, _you_ didn’t, but you didn’t _stop_ Xisuma from doing it either! You didn’t _care_ as long as I was out of your damn _way!_ You didn’t find me because you wanted me free, you found me by fucking _chance_ and decided I was good enough to amuse you for a while, and then you decided to let me out so you didn’t have to let go of your plaything!

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be that anymore! Maybe I don’t want to be defined by all of _you_ anymore, maybe I don’t want to remember every night what it was like not being able to take it off even if I _wanted_ to because I couldn’t move _at all!_ Maybe I, I-I don’t want to be reminded of being so despicable that you had to do that to me, maybe I just want to be rid of all of that, rid of the armour, and forget it all and just be someone else who didn’t have to go through that, but I can’t, I can’t because I don’t know who I am if I’m not the bad guy in the red armour, I don’t know who I am if I’m not the guy who had to leave because staying meant to be always reminded of the fact that I’m not part of your little group, that I’m the outsider nobody wanted to come back, and, and…”

Ex sucked in a shaky breath. His voice was quivering, and Doc just stared at him, feeling utterly stupid for never having thought about what effect the exile in the void had had on Ex even after he’d gotten to leave it behind physically. Ex was still going on.

“…and there’s you, and I thought – I thought you didn’t really care, I thought even after you – even after I got out, you just kept me around because it was a nice pastime. And I can’t believe you when you say you missed me, and I hate that I missed you, I hate that I – that I – I – that you have that power over me, even though I’ve tried to leave you behind so you wouldn’t anymore.”

Doc felt tears push at his eyes, trying to get out, trying to break free and tear down the composure he was just barely keeping together right now. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and his voice sounded so much more shaky than he wanted it to. “I… I didn’t think… you were always so composed. So secure, I – I thought you’d just shaken it off.”

Ex sniffed, blinking angrily at the tears that had stolen their way into his eyes. He was staring past Doc, looking as though he had half a heart to just go, just leave and evade this entire conversation altogether. 

Doc reached out one hand, carefully, as if he were trying to get a wounded animal to trust him. 

“Can I give you a hug?”

Ex shook his head, and Doc pulled his hand back. Ex’s fingers were digging into the sand beneath him. 

“Don’t pretend like you care now, just because I can’t deal with it on my own.”

“I do care,” Doc said quietly. “And I’m sorry that I made you think I don’t. I shouldn’t have come here, I… I should’ve let you move on. I – I made it all about what I needed, what I wanted.”

Ex sniffled again. He seemed to have slowly regained some of his composure, but then his lip began to quiver again, and his voice was barely audible when he spoke. 

“Did you really miss me?”

“Yes,” Doc whispered back. Ex swallowed hard. “Why?”

“Because I – ” Doc began, and something got stuck in his throat. 

“I – ,” he tried again, but the words wouldn’t come. He swallowed. His throat felt constricted. “I just _did_. You were… everywhere I looked I expected to find you, and I did in a way, because you weren’t there so I tried to find ways of keeping you with me even though you were gone. You’re just… I can concentrate when you’re around, you keep me grounded. You don’t try to be nice if you don’t want to be, and you see no reason to pretend for the sake of social rules. You’re a dick to me if you want to be, and you won’t apologize for it just because that’s the right thing to do. You’re just… you’re so _honest_ in who you are.

“And I don’t believe that has anything to do with you in or out of the armour. That’s _you_. Even in the void, you didn’t try to butter me up so I’d set you free. You loathed me and you treated me accordingly, even though I was using the power imbalance as leverage to make you let me back in, and I… Ex, I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve what we did to you. I can’t undo it. I can’t take back any of the things I’ve said or done, but I’m sorry. And I – you mean a lot to me. I couldn’t make a world my home with finality that I knew you didn’t want to be a part of. Because...”

He trailed off. It was _there_ , it was _clawing_ at the back of his throat, at the tip of his tongue, tearing at the space between his parted lips, and yet it wouldn’t come out of his mouth. 

Some of the tension had left Ex’s posture. He still didn’t look at Doc, but he gingerly held out one of his hands, and Doc gave him his own to hold. 

“You treated me like a person,” Ex said. He was still whispering, but his voice was no longer shaking. “I never – I thought, somehow, you were playing an elaborate trick on me. After I left, I – I kept thinking you were going to forget me so quickly, I thought maybe you were glad I was gone. I thought maybe the messages could have gone through if you’d wanted them to, but you didn’t. I… I don’t know. I hated that all it took for me to – to miss you was for you to not act like I was a monster.

“I know none of the others did once I got out of the void, but… I don’t know. It felt hollow, all of it, like somehow they felt like they had to be nice, even if they didn’t want to. I believed you while I was there, because… well, you did it even when you didn’t have to. Even when I treated you like dirt. I’m sorry about that by the way.”

Doc smiled at the dismissive way Ex said it and squeezed his hand ever so slightly. He saw the corner of Ex’s mouth twitch just a little.

“But after you were gone… it all came crashing down, and I thought it was all a big joke on me. I just couldn’t believe you anymore.”

And suddenly Doc knew that he had to be the one to say it, to give the _something_ a name, because Ex needed to know that he’d done it of his own accord, of his own free will, and god it was tearing at his heart and roaring in his chest like a terrible beast that was trying to rip its way out of him. And he wanted to let it with every fibre of his being, but no matter how much he did, it still was so hard to allow this beast to tear him to pieces for the sake of setting it free.

“Ex,” he said, and his heart was pounding in his chest, a lump was forming in his throat, and finally, Ex was looking at him – 

Pain ripped through his arm with a sudden, hot intensity, and they both flinched and turned their attention to the sea. The sun had travelled a good bit further across the sky now. From the shadow of a mountain that now fell on the ocean, some drowned had come to the surface. 

Doc blinked at the trident that had hit his arm dead-on.

‘Ping!’ went the communicator.


	7. Belong

“Ugh, I hate these stupid, soggy excuses for zombies!” Ex cursed under his breath, and a moment later, a bolt of lightning struck down from the sky and took care of the entire group of drowned at once. A couple of dead fish bobbed up to the surface. 

“Come on, let’s get back so I can find you a potion.”

Doc let out a breath he hadn’t even realised he was holding. The moment was gone, and now his arm was actually hurting quite a bit. 

‘Ping!’

“He couldn’t have gone for the shiny metal arm?” he mock-complained as he got up. Ex was already collecting his armour pieces. “You know, the one with several bright red lights on it to make aiming easier? Wouldn’t even have scratched that one!”

“Where’s the fun in that,” Ex retorted dryly, and Doc grinned. “You just like to see me suffer, huh?”

“It’s divine justice for the void thing.”

“Mhm. I do suddenly see the logic in it, yes, very much so. Makes _perfect_ sense.”

Ex gently slapped his metal arm. It made a dull sound, and Doc laughed. “See? Didn’t even feel that!”

“I’m so tempted to smack you until you do feel it.”

“Maybe wait until I’ve got two arms to retaliate.”

Ex threw his head back laughing as they walked back together. “No, that’s the stupidest thing I could to! I’m bringing down your defence, dude, this is tactical battle!”

“This is annoying is what it is!”

“You’re annoying.”

Doc laughed. “Yeah, true. I had a good teacher.”

He nudged Ex with his good elbow and got an arched brow in response. “Xisuma?”

“In a way.”

Ex laughed again, and Doc felt the warm spark of getting it right in his chest as he traipsed along. 

Half an hour later, Doc’s arm was bandaged up and, thanks to a health potion, basically good as new anyways. They had relocated their sitting spot from the seashore to the roof of Ex’s trading hall – a massive, multi-story building made from crimson stems and warts, with intricate blackstone designs wrapping around it like black veins. It was a phenomenal sight.

Doc was stretching himself on the roof, content as a cat behind an oven and similarly as warm – the blackstone had soaked up the sun and warmed up to the point where it felt like it had in-floor heating. Or, well. In-roof, in this case.

Ex had left his chest and arm plating down in the building. His face was turned towards the sun and his long hair caught the rays in shimmering strands that fell across his shoulders and snaking along the roof below. Doc caught one of the strands and let it run through his fingers. Ex opened his eyes just enough to see what it was that was tugging on his hair.

“It got so long,” Doc said as he played with the strand absentmindedly. Ex chuckled a little. “It’s why I started leaving the helmet. Kept getting caught.”

“Yeah. I saw your complaining messages once they came through when I was in the void.”

Ex looked away, trying and failing to play off the fact that a little blush blossomed on his cheeks. “Yeah, I… I don’t know. It made me think of you. A lot of things did.”

“A lot of things made me think of you too,” Doc said with a little grin. “The first thing I did was build a goat because of a dumb joke you made.”

“What’s wrong with you, huh?” Ex asked and shot him a lopsided smile. Doc laughed. “Many things, man. Many, many things.”

“You never sent anything,” Ex said.

Doc shook his head, looking up at the wandering clouds. The sky was beginning to show the slightest traces of sunset colours. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not if I knew you wouldn’t respond.”

“Considering that didn’t stop you when I wouldn’t talk to you back in the void, that’s weak,” Ex grinned, and Doc rolled his eyes with a fond smile.

“Maybe it is,” he said. The clouds were wandering above, chasing the setting sun that was turning the sky into blushing pinks and radiant oranges. Somewhere, a chicken was clucking, and a cow mooed faintly. It got repeated by the jagged mountains in a barely audible echo. Doc closed his eyes and breathed it in. Then a grin crept over his face. “Hey, Ex.”

He turned his head over to look at him. Ex met his eyes. “What?”

“Wanna make out?”

Ex burst into laughter. “What is it with you and asking me that when we sit on roofs?!”

“I just remembered that I did it back in the old world, so I had to,” Doc replied, laughing himself, and Ex let himself fall on top of him and grinned. “Yeah,” he replied, “For old time’s sake.”

Doc wrapped his arms around Ex and kissed him, and he could feel the smile on Ex’s lips against his own. The _something_ stirred gently in his chest, but he paid it no mind this time. Right now, he felt like he’d have all the time in the world to say it.

‘Ping!’

Doc didn’t react, hoping it’d go unnoticed, but Ex had heard it. He gave Doc a look, one eyebrow arched pointedly. Doc looked away like he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. They’d left the roof when the sun had disappeared behind the mountainside, leaving them cold in rapidly darkening shadows. Ex, accustomed to just about always teleporting to and from his main base by slipping through the chunks, had not bothered to light the place up all too well, and thus they’d been greeted by a couple of skeletons (and one lone spider) when they returned. 

A couple of arrows had gotten to Doc – nothing that warranted worry in any other context. But Ex knew two things very well: one, the communicator did not work across worlds, but it did work in the void. And two, he had not sent Doc any message whatsoever.

“It’s still trying to pull you into the void, isn’t it?”

Doc had a hard time meeting his eyes. “It would seem so.”

Ex sighed and plucked an arrow from the table that had sailed in past them through the door. “I’ve got a theory, you know. When I put the apple on that throne of yours, which by the way is a sorry imitation of _my_ throne –,” Doc couldn’t help but break into a smile. Ex’s face remained serious, but the sly humour twinkled in his red eyes. 

“– when I put that apple there, I’d caught glimpses of your world so many times. Some of them were so short, I wasn’t sure I hadn’t imagined it. Sometimes slipping through chunks is weird. But it was too consistent, even though the amount of time I got with each… I don’t know, window I guess, was different. I got close enough to put an apple there only once after I did it the first time, otherwise it was always too quickly gone again.”

“What’s your theory then?”

“The closer you are to needing to respawn, the longer the window is open. And the longer it’s open, the more stable the connection is. That’s why your communicator glitches out, then. It’s _trying_ to link up to something it would usually be able to, if there weren’t the obvious problem of, you know. The dimensions not matching up. And the connection isn’t stable enough across two worlds for anything to actually get through.”

He looked at Doc with a kind of matter-of-fact expression, holding the arrow like a professor would a pointer, as if there was just no way around him being dead-on with what he was saying. And if Doc was being honest, it seemed pretty damn likely that he was. 

“How often have you gotten badly hurt since you came to the new world?” Ex asked. “It couldn’t have been that many times, even if it happened while I wasn’t also chunk-hopping and missed it.”

“There were like… maybe three really close calls?” Doc admitted. “One time was early on, when Bdubs and I were still setting up the half-houses… there was a creeper and it almost blew me to bits. Took Bdubs out, too!”

He grinned. “He deserved it, the clown! Then there was the time a piglin surprised me at the button when I fell asleep and I had to get the hell out of dodge… and then when my elytra failed and I divebombed the ground. There may have been more? Those are the times I remember off the top of my head as being really close. Well, and when I… when I got the idea that I might end up in the void if I died, but I did that on purpose.”

Ex shook his head. “Yeah. You big idiot.”

He finally chucked the arrow away into one of the chests that were semi-orderly strewn about the place and sighed. “You can’t live like this. It’s dangerous. One mishap and… Doc, you need to set your spawn. And you need to do it in the other world.”

Doc’s heart felt heavy in his chest. He knew, he knew that, but…

“But I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to leave, either! But you can’t stay here. You know you can’t. This isn’t your home, this isn’t… this isn’t where you belong. _I’m_ not who you belong with. You belong with your friends.”

Doc looked over at Ex, whose voice was heavy but firm. He had an air of quiet resolution, as if he’d come to terms with the star-crossed nature of every timespan they got to share a long time ago. But he had not, and they both knew it. 

Doc straightened himself, shaking off the miserable feeling that had his shoulders hunching and his head hanging. He took the few steps over to Ex until he was stood right across from him, just that little bit closer than a friend would stand. 

“I do,” he said decidedly. Ex just looked back at him and something dulled the spark in his eyes like a cloud that moved in front of the sun. Doc didn’t falter. “I do belong with the Hermits. They’re my friends, and they’ve had to deal with Biffa and Python not making it out of the void when we jumped worlds back then, so I won’t make them mourn another friend and just disappear on them like that.

“But,” he continued, and he took hold of Ex’s face as he did when, following his words, Ex’s eyes turned away from his. Ex looked back at him, a tell-tale shimmer to his eyes. Doc felt like his heart was going to burst at the sight. The _something_ gave a testing claw in his chest, and this time, he gave up all resistance. 

“But,” he said, “This isn’t black or white. I may go back to the Hermits, but you know as well as I do that the reason for it is not that I’m choosing them over you.” 

Scratch. Claw. Bite. Piece by piece, the barrier came down.

“I’ll go back to them for the same reason you won’t come back with me. It’s the history we carry. It’s why it’s impossible for me to exist apart from the group and for you to be comfortable with them around, no matter how kind they are and how many times you all apologize about the pain you caused each other.”

Scratch. Claw. Bite. The beast was growling in his chest.

“I belong with the Hermits. But I also belong with you. It doesn’t matter which world I’m in, or how far away it is from you.”

_Scratch. Claw. Bite._

“Because I love you.”

The barrier shattered. Ex stared at him, wild-eyed and shocked. His scars were red against the pale skin, and his long hair hung in tangled, unkempt ribbons over his shoulders. He was breathtaking. Doc looked down at his frozen face with a sense of sudden, unshakeable calm. 

“And I won’t stop loving you, no matter where I am or where you are. I’d risk ending up in the void a thousand times over for you, but that’s a kind of madness that would end in my doom. And I can’t take that chance, not even when it means that if I don’t, I’ll have to separate myself from you again, because I always knew my time with you was limited. It’s always been, as much as I resent it. 

“But I’ve always found my way back to you, and you’ve always been there, ready to catch me. And I promise to you, I’ll swear it on every last moment I get, that I’ll find you again. No matter how long it takes, or how much. I’ll always come back. I’ll keep coming back for you, and I’ll keep an eye out for you wherever I go, because we may always have to part ways again, but I’ll be damned if I let any of these goodbyes be final.”

Ex was still staring at him, and Doc was still cupping one side of his face. He brought his other hand up to match, cradling Ex’s jaw so very gently, to give him the room he needed if he wanted to break away. 

“I love you,” he said again, barely more than a whisper between them, and this time it came so easily, as if he’d said it a million times. And maybe in all the ways except for words, he had.

Ex blinked, and Doc felt his heart pound in his throat. He swallowed. Ex’s lips were parted ever so slightly.

“You love me?” he whispered, and his voice wanted to crack so desperately, but he was holding it in. 

Doc could only nod. “Yeah,” he managed. Suddenly, he was all choked up. Ex pulled his hands down, keeping them held in his own so desperately tightly that it hurt. 

“You _love_ me,” he repeated, still staring at Doc with those eyes that were just _blazing_ with a fire that Doc could not place. “You – say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

Ex squeezed his hands even tighter, and Doc couldn’t help but wince. A wild, bright, _beautiful_ smile spread across Ex’s face and he let go of Doc’s hands to grab the collar of his coat, stepping closer, standing on his tiptoes against his chest. “Again.”

“I love you.”

Ex pulled him down into a kiss, and Doc felt the _something_ in his chest explode. He wrapped his arms around Ex, tightly as he could, and just held on. Ex was smiling into the kiss, pressing his lips to Doc’s with so much want, so much _purpose_ , it was taking his breath away. 

He lifted Ex up so he could stop straining his back, and Ex wrapped his legs around Doc’s hips and his arms around his neck and just clung to him. Doc could still feel that wild smile on his lips, and one of his hands shot up to the back of Ex’s head to hold him closer, closer still. 

Ex pulled back and hid his face against Doc’s shoulder, his arms wrapping ever so slightly more urgently around Doc’s neck. “I love you too,” he whispered so quietly, Doc just barely was able to hear. He buried his head in the crook of Ex’s neck, where the ribbons of hair flowed over his shoulder, and tightened his grip on that oh so familiar, slender frame in his arms. 

There was nothing of importance now, but them.


	8. Void

The days were blending together. They established a routine faster and easier than they ever thought they would. Ex routinely wore only the bottom half of his armour now. Sometimes, albeit seldom, he would even forgo the whole thing save for the boots, opting for looser, lighter clothing instead. Doc would tease him about it, and Ex would just roll his eyes and throw some armour plates at him. 

It felt strangely _right_ , the domesticity of it all – to wake up next to each other in the mornings, divide up tasks and share the work that had to be done. 

And that work now included trying to find a connection to the other world for Doc to go back. Day after day, they prodded at the laws that their universe imposed. But even if they gave way to their pushing, they never bent enough for Doc to slip on through. And it always provoked a mixture of disappointment at yet another failed try to get back home… and an overwhelming relief, because as much as he’d be coming home, he’d be leaving one behind. 

Even when they tried to build a chunk-ripped portal again in hopes of realigning the stars that had allowed Doc to find Ex in the void all that time ago – it just spat them out in the Nether before it collapsed. Violet dimension particles scattered every which way in a tiny explosion, like an exquisite firework. And then there was nothing left but some cracked, red-hot netherrack beneath it, a bit of disappearing smoke, and maybe half of the original obsidian frame. Some of it was glowing faintly, as if the particles had carved their way through the dark stone in dripping, violet veins. 

“Well… that didn’t work,” Doc said, stating the obvious. Ex elbowed him in the side with a snort. “Ya think?”

“How are we gonna get back? You got any obsidian?”

Ex shrugged. “Yeah. You got a flint and steel?”

“Nope. But I bet there’s a ghast here somewhere!”

Ex looked at him for a moment before letting out a heavy breath, even though a grin was pulling at his lips. “That’s a terrible idea, Mr No-Spawn.”

Doc nodded, grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

“Let’s do it,” Ex agreed with a sigh, while the grin was already breaking its way onto his face. Doc pulled him close for a quick kiss. “I’ll be okay.”

“You better, you green lump! Come on, let’s tame a ghast!”

He jumped up with that mischievous twinkle in his eye. Doc knew something was about to happen that he had no way of anticipating, but he still didn’t quite know how to respond to Ex just _sprinting_ at the ledge next to them at full speed and jumping off as if he wanted to partake in lava platform diving. 

_”Ex!”_

He heard laughter and when Doc had managed to scramble to the ledge himself, he saw Ex below, on the back of a ghast, somehow making it bend to his will and letting him ride it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Doc stared and blinked, unable to come up with anything to say for a moment or two. Ex was cackling maniacally. 

Finally, Doc regained his ability to speak, however all he could manage was an incredulous _”What?!”_

Ex cackled even louder. “I learned how to do that ages ago. Haven’t made use of it in a long time!”

Doc blinked. “How… how _do_ you do that?”

Ex shrugged. “I don’t know to be honest. It’s a bit like me teleporting in that sense. I just kind of… know. Though I haven’t practised it in a bit, so it might throw me off.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Well, join the club, dead man walking,” Ex said dryly and Doc rolled his eyes. “You’re going to hold that over my head forever, aren’t you?”

“Just for a while,” Ex grinned, and managed to manoeuvre the ghast a bit higher. “Okay. I think it’s still gonna try and get you when it sees you, so go stand in the portal? Let’s see if that works.”

Doc nodded. “Give me the obsidian first maybe, so I can make it one?”

Ex fished out a shulker and tossed it up for Doc to catch. “All of this seems incredibly precarious, considering it’s pretty much the only way for us to get home,” he commented, even though he was grinning again. This kind of thing was just _fun_ , in spite of and precisely because of the risk attached. 

Within a couple of minutes, there was the familiarly shaped obsidian frame, and Doc slipped the shulker back into his pocket. The ghast was whining faintly.

“Okay!” he yelled, standing inside of it with his legs wide apart and his hands at his hips, posing as if his chest were a bullseye. Ex was hovering on the ghast just low enough at the ledge to prevent it from seeing Doc, but able to peer over it himself. He grinned. “Ready?!”

“Hit me with your best shot!”

“Just get out of there quick enough!”

“I’m the god of speed!” Doc yelled, and Ex let the ghast float up over the ledge. 

Just like he’d predicted, while it didn’t seem to mind Ex in the slightest, the ghast still went to attack Doc the second it caught sight of him. He dove out of the way, and the fiery projectile exploded at the wall behind him. 

“Take it higher!” he yelled up to Ex, who looked like he had his work cut out for him, now that the ghast wasn’t just idly drifting along amongst the lava streams anymore. 

“I’m trying!” he shouted back, managing to slowly but surely coax it up higher. The ghast fired again, but once again missed the target. Doc felt some hot debris rain down on him. 

‘Ping!’

He grit his teeth and got back to his feet. This was not the time.

“You good?” he heard Ex yell from above. 

“Could be worse!” he shouted back. Nothing hurt too badly. He was fine. Ex was pulling the ghast back over. “Watch out!”

Doc jumped to the side and crashed into the wall with his shoulder. 

‘Ping!’

The communicator was going off again, but Doc paid it no mind. The portal was glowing again, and Ex was cheering on the back of his unorthodox ride. 

“Hell yeah!” Doc shouted, laughing where he was slumped against the netherrack. Somewhere, a ghast was screeching, and then all Doc saw before he could even get back on his feet properly was a flaming ball, a white, angry blob in the distant haze, and then – darkness. 

Doc opened his eyes to the familiar nothingness of the void, gasping for air as if the wind had been knocked out of him with brutal force. He was floating again, faint red light emitting from his arm. 

“Ex?” he said, and regretted it immediately. His voice sounded – hollow. Weak and faint, like if it was being stolen from him as he tried to use it. The void swallowed it up amongst every last echo, and no answer came. He pulled up his communicator. 

Dozens of messages from the Hermits were piling in, but strangely, it made no noise. Somehow, the absence of the familiar pings was more unsettling to Doc than anything else about this situation. He knew the void. What he didn’t know was how to deal with it when it didn’t behave like he expected it to.

He scrolled through the mountains of incoming messages until the little notification disappeared – it took him several minutes. It was a ludicrous amount of messages. How long had he been gone?

He switched over to Ex’s channel. Nothing. Ex surely would have messaged him… wouldn’t he?

Docm77: < Ex? I’m stuck in the void again… >

Docm77: < Feel free to laugh at me >

No response came. Doc waited and stared at the screen, and now he felt panic rise in his throat. No. No, no, no. He couldn’t lose Ex like this, _not like this_. Not without saying goodbye, not without him knowing he was okay – _if_ he was okay. 

Was he?

Docm77: < Ex are you getting these? >

Docm77: < Please tell me you’re getting these >

Docm77: < I’m okay, I’m just in the void >

Docm77: < Nothing happened to you, right? >

Docm77: < Ex? >

Docm77: < come on, come on you stupid communicator >

His fingers were shaking. He refused to cry. He was okay. Everything would be okay. Maybe if he just sent more, one of them would be pushed through? He knew that was not how the communicators worked, and for once he cursed that knowledge. If he were a little more oblivious, it could be giving him something to cling to.

Docm77: < Ex I’m sorry I’m so sorry >

Docm77: < I’ll find a way back I promise >

Docm77: < If only to make these go through so you know I’m alright >

Docm77: < Because nothing happened to you, nothing better happen to you >

‘Ping!’

A single, angry, hot tear rolled down his cheek when the realisation hit him that he _was_ receiving messages, but not from Ex. He was still staring at that channel, and it didn’t even flicker. He switched channels.

GoodTimesWithScar: < Anyone got some backstpbe >

GoodTimesWithScar: < blavkstobt >

GoodTimesWithScar: < BLACKSTONR >

Grian: < Take ur time >

GoodTimesWithScar: < ugh >

GoodTimesWithScar: < rocks >

GoodTimesWithScar: < pls >

Grian: < Check the barge >

GoodTimesWithScar: < can I pay in sand >

Grian: < ….yes but only this once >

Doc had to smile, even though his throat still felt like someone was choking the life out of him. The usual. 

Docm77: < hey guys >

Docm77: < X there? >

No reply came. Doc swallowed. What if it was just _him_ that couldn’t get the channels to work anymore?

‘Ping!’

His eyes flicked down so fast, he felt dizzy momentarily. Nothing new. He switched channels. The notification was there, next to Ex’s name, but…

The channel was still like he’d left it. Had Ex gotten his messages then? Was anything going through, anywhere?

Docm77: < I’m not getting anything if you sent something >

Silence. No little glowing dot showed up next to either channel, and all Doc could do was stare at the screen, digging his fingers into his arm and feeling the sharp sensation of it to remind him that he was still here. He still existed. 

He could feel every limb, feel his fingers press into his skin, feel his coat move across his shoulders. He could feel the little burn of the scratches Ex had left on his back. Doc shrugged, and the sensation provided as much comfort as it did fear. What if this was the last memory of Ex he’d get to have – until it healed up and faded away, taken by the void to become part of its nothing.

‘Ping!’

‘Ping!’

‘Ping!’

Xisuma: < Doc?! >

Xisuma: < Where in the name of all that’s holy are you? >

Xisuma: < Where have you been??? >

Doc gulped. At least there was one line of communication that seemed to work again. 

Docm77: < The void at the moment. Can you get me via tp? >

Once again, no answer came, and Doc just waited – hoped – for the familiar tug in his stomach. He could only wish desperately that, if Ex couldn’t reach him, Xisuma would be able to, somehow. Minutes ticked by, slow and stretching like ropes of black tar. Was he lost, now? Then, something pulled at him, the darkness was being torn away – 

‘Ping!’

– and there he was, Xisuma in front of him, both of them standing on top of his goat that looked just like he’d left it and yet oh so unfamiliar. 

Doc’s head was spinning, he was nauseous, and Xisuma had to catch him by the shoulder to stop him from falling over. 

“Doc – Doc, what – you okay, mate?!”

Through blurry eyes, he saw the little glowing dot next to Ex’s name. As if in a trance, he opened the channel. 

EvilXisuma: < Stay put. I’ll find you, promise. >

He should have waited. 

Xisuma stared at him, his expression a strange mix of bewilderment and worry. “Doc, what – what on earth is going on, man?”

Doc steadied himself. He shook his head out. “It’s fine – I’m fine, I’m okay, I gotta – I’m sorry, I’ll explain it, I promise. You gonna be around for a couple days?”

“What? Yes, of course, but – ”

“Can I ask for one more teleport soon?”

“Wha – _why?!_ What are you – ?!”

“Please, X _please_. I promise to explain, but I gotta go, I’ve got to – he’s looking for me, I can’t leave him like this, I – ”

“Who – what?!”

_”I don’t have time for questions right now!”_

He hadn’t meant to shout but he had. He just stared at Xisuma with pleading eyes. “I’m sorry, Xisuma please – just one more, I’ll let you know, I – I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Xisuma gave him a pained look, but he yielded to Doc’s imploring voice. “Okay, fine. Fine. Do what you’ve got to do, whatever that is. I’ll… I’ll wait until I hear from you.”

_”Thank you!”_

Xisuma just stared at him with nothing but helpless confusion written across his face. Doc squeezed his arm and then just took a step to the side and off of the goat. 

< Docm77 fell out of the world >

He opened his eyes in the dark again. He’d have to wait and hope, hope with everything he had that the luck he was testing so severely was still on his side. He strained his ears against the silence, but it was no use.

He heard nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proof that Ex can absolutely ride ghasts: [HERE](https://youtu.be/XGEaZs1q970?t=78)
> 
> Also I believe ghasts can't _actually_ relight a portal by themselves unless they set fire to a block next to the portal or something to that tune, I haven't gone and tested it for the sake of this fic - I just decided, you know what! They can shatter a portal and Ex can ride them, so they might as well abide by some bendy laws of minecraft reality :D


	9. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again: This fic is rated "E" for "explicit" not "E" for "everyone". This chapter contains explicit, graphic sex. If you don't want to read that, then do not read past the point where Ex and Doc return home. The entire remainder of the chapter is smut.  
> If you don't read this warning, or if you read the lemon even though you don't actually want to and will regret it after, I can't help you. I don't know why you're reading an E-rated fic or why you'd still be here after realising in chapter 5 that yes, it does in fact get explicit, if this kind of content is not what you want to engage with. You have been warned.
> 
> To the rest of you who are like "hell YEAH here they go again!!!!" - enjoy! :D

It had to be hours later that a hand closed around his wrist and pulled him back into sunlight. He was still blinking against the sudden brightness when his legs gave out and he found himself slumped in the grass. He was still too disoriented to even really grasp where he was when Ex was already catching him, holding him steady. He felt like he’d been pulled from deep water.

“Breathe,” he heard the familiar voice somewhere close to his ear, “Come on, breathe with me. In… two, three… out… in… and out.”

He just followed along, and slowly the world stopped spinning and he could see clearly again. Ex was kneeling half behind him, giving him his body to lean against, his hands gently resting on Doc’s shoulders. 

Doc turned around just enough so that he could pull him into a hug, burying his face in the white hair that hung across his shoulder. Ex was rubbing soothing circles on his back. “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“You should be! But I’m – I’m sorry, too – I never should have agreed to let a ghast shoot fire at you.”

“You’re not my mum. You don’t have to make sure I don’t make stupid decisions.”

“Well, apparently I do!”

Doc laughed weakly. “Yeah, apparently you do. Shit, man, I – I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Ex’s hold on him got a little tighter for a moment. “It was so hard to – you were so… well, not far away, really, but it’s the best way to describe it. It’s like I had to… dive really deep to pull you out.”

Doc pressed a kiss to Ex’s neck. “I was home,” he whispered, “For a moment. It – it was weird, it was like I was drifting between communication lines in the void. Sometimes messages came through, but I couldn’t respond, or… or it tried, but they didn’t make it. I don’t know it’s… it’s as if I was going in and out of it.”

Ex paused for a moment before he asked: “You went home?”

“It wouldn’t let your messages through, I… I didn’t know if you’d gotten mine. I caught hold of Xisuma and – he teleported me back, just like that.”

“That _worked?!”_

“Yeah. It was – it felt… I don’t know, kind of… delayed? But it worked.”

Ex was quiet for a couple of seconds. “I didn’t think it – _how?_ Xisuma’s – even if he’s the admin, he shouldn’t be able to do that outside of the world you’re in?”

“Are you sure? I mean – you can do all sorts of crazy stuff, and you’re not the admin.”

“Yeah, but I’m also just above all of you in every way.”

Doc snorted. “Shut up!”

He lifted his head out of the nest of Ex’s hair he’d buried it in and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Ex hummed against his lips. 

“Maybe you’re still close enough for it to work, in a way. It – again, it’s very hard to explain, but it feels like the worlds are… I don’t know, drifting apart? It kind of… it felt like you were harder to reach. Like the void is stabilizing as its own dimension the longer you’re in it. Similar to when I was in it. It was like its own world, almost. You… I don’t know if you’ll still be within reach of any other world for much longer if you keep going there.”

“Think one more time will work?”

“I don’t know. Probably. Hopefully.”

“I’ll have Xisuma pull me out and set my spawn. I… the only reason I didn’t do it right away was because I knew you were looking for me and I… I had to say goodbye. Tell you I was okay and see if… you know, if you were.”

Ex squeezed him again. “I will be.”

For a few moments they just sat there in silence. Then Doc pushed himself away. “Come on,” he said with a little smile. “Let’s go and make use of the day while I’m still here.”

Ex looked at him, and then his eyes trailed over the little meadow they were sitting in, a hidden little sanctuary in between the mountains that was situated just right to catch the sunlight up until the evening hours. Flowers were rustling gently among the green. “No, let’s… let’s just stay here for a while.”

Doc just about melted back down into his arms and let Ex pull him down into the grass. “I won’t go until tomorrow,” he whispered into Ex’s hair. Ex was hiding his face against Doc’s chest, shuffling closer, disappearing into his arms. “Tomorrow’s too soon for me not to make the rest of today last as long as I can.”

Doc pressed a kiss to the top of his head and Ex smiled into the hug. “Hey, Doc. Wanna make out?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

Only when shadows fell over their little meadow did they return home.

Home. It had become home during all this time that Doc had spent by Ex’s side.

When the door closed behind them, they just stood there for a moment, staring at each other like they had not just spent the entire day side by side talking in the warm sunlight, wasting the hours with meaningless banter and friendly bickering as if they had all the days and nights in the world to spend holding each other. Pretending that this wasn’t their last day, bleeding into their last night.

Ex’s shoulders relaxed like he was setting a weight down. Something in his eyes shifted. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said. His voice was calm and clear, and he was looking Doc right in the eyes. Doc let out a heavy breath. Ex was not shying away this time. He did not look away or hid his face in Dc’s chest and let his voice fall to a whisper, or make a joke like Doc was used to him handling emotion. He was embracing it.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” he replied. Ex laid his hand to Doc’s face. It felt – right. Safe. Home. Ex’s eyes would not leave his. 

“I love you,” he said, loud and clear and truthful – and unprompted for the first time since Doc had managed to tear the words out of himself. Doc pulled him into a hug, having to lift him up so Ex could wrap his arms around his neck. “I love you too,” he whispered back. Ex squeezed him gently. 

“Had to say it first at least once,” he whispered and Doc chuckled. Ex pulled away and caught him in a kiss. And in its own way, it spoke like kisses did that were shared by those who loved so absolutely – saying everything there was to say, and nothing new at all. When they parted, Ex looked at him out of half-lidded eyes, and Doc felt a fuse inside of him blow. 

He grabbed Ex by the hair and pulled him back in, suddenly hungry for every last taste he’d still be able to get before morning broke. Ex gasped against his lips and his grip on Doc’s neck became just that little bit more urgent. His legs, until now loosely wrapped around Doc’s hips, suddenly clung tighter, and Doc hummed at the invitation. With a few long steps, he carried Ex over to the bed and let him fall into the blankets. Ex stared up at him out of burning eyes while Doc shrugged out of the lab coat and kicked his jeans off. 

“Are you going to tease me now, of all times?” Doc asked, casting a pointed look at Ex, still in his tank top and the leg pieces of his armour, making no effort to take them off. 

“I want you to do it,” Ex said, and Doc felt a wave of heat rush through him. Ex’s eyes trailed down his body and a faint smirk snuck onto his face. “What, does that turn you on so much?”

Doc crawled on top of him and caught him in an urgent kiss, grinding his hips down into Ex’s abdomen, just above where his armour ended. Ex moaned quietly. 

“Was it not supposed to?” Doc whispered, voice low and husky. Ex squirmed beneath him, gasping a soft “Yes” into the kiss. Doc grinned and slid down just enough to sink his teeth into Ex’s neck. Faint remains of disappearing bruises still adorned it in shades of pale violet and fading yellow, and now they were coming back to life in the deepest purpure.

Ex moaned and buried his hand in Doc’s hair, tugging ever so gently, and Doc hissed quietly at the sensation. 

“Make them last,” Ex breathed above, and Doc sucked another bruise into his skin, right below the jawbone. Ex sighed while his back arched ever so slightly. Doc dug his teeth in deeper until Ex hissed at the pain. He’d make it last, every bite and scratch, every pull and squeeze. Ex was raking his nails over Doc’s back and a low groan escaped him.

“You too,” he replied belatedly, but Ex’s nails immediately sunk deeper into his skin, and Doc knew he’d understood. He sucked one more mark into Ex’s neck before crawling down, trailing little bites across his still clothed chest, and Ex squirmed and gasped and pushed up against him. 

When he reached the red armour plating that still clung to Ex’s legs, Doc slowly tugged the top free and pushed it up just enough to press a kiss to the skin of Ex’s hip. Ex hummed blissfully. The sound turned into a moan as soon as Doc bit down ever so gently. 

“You wanna tease me… now of all times?” Ex managed, and Doc laughed softly against his skin. 

“Just a little bit…”

He pressed one last kiss to Ex’s hip and then went to open up the latches at the sides of his legs. Slowly, the armour plates came undone and fell away, pushed carelessly off the bed. Ex had pulled the top over his head in the meantime and now there he was, looking down at Doc who was peppering his thighs and abdomen with kisses and bites but fully neglecting to even acknowledge the way Ex’s dick was straining against the thin fabric of his boxers.

“Doc – !”

Doc hooked his fingers under the waistband and just held them there, continuing his biting spree as if he had not heard Ex’s little gasp at all even though it had sent a jolt of sweet desire right to his own groin. But then he felt a hand gripping his hair tightly and before he knew it, Ex had pulled him away just long enough to tug his underwear down himself and then pushed Doc’s head back down with a desperate groan. 

Heat flooded Doc’s every nerve, coiling into an overwhelming want in his chest. He mouthed at Ex’s dick and was rewarded with another urgent tug at his hair and a pleading groan, and the frantic _neediness_ of it all was making his head spin. He opened his mouth and Ex bucked up into it almost violently, causing Doc to choke involuntarily.

“Fuck – sorry, I – ,” Ex began to say, but he fell silent when Doc shook his head as much as he could where he was currently situated. He bobbed his head slightly and heard Ex’s head fall back into the pillows with a moan. His hips were shaking ever so slightly as he thrust up into Doc’s mouth with small movements, gasping at every swirl of Doc’s tongue and every little suck he gave with hollowed out cheeks. 

Doc was clawing at the sheets underneath him with one hand, meanwhile lifting the other to cover Ex’s, who still had his fingers curled loosely into his hair, and squeeze it just slightly. Trying to give him permission, convey his want of… all of this, everything, _anything_ that Ex wanted from him right now. Ex’s hips bucked up again, with less restraint that before, like a question. Doc hummed in urgent agreement, pushing down to meet him. 

“You want me to do this?” Ex asked somewhere above his head, sounding breathless and tense, and Doc just hummed again, still moving his head up and down and wholly unwilling to stop for even a second to reply. Instead he grabbed Ex’s hip and squeezed, and that was all it took.

Ex’s grip on his hair tightened again, urging his head down with force, and Doc went with it while Ex just held him there, hips stuttering upwards – slowly at first, and then rapidly picking up speed. Doc felt his eyes water when breathing all of a sudden became something he had to focus on, and oh – the noises Ex was making. 

With every thrust came a moan, and each one sent another sharp spike of lust through Doc’s body. He managed to snake one of his hands down between his own legs, palming himself through his shorts and shivering at the sweet friction, unable to stop himself from groaning at the feeling.

“Fuck – fuck, Doc – don’t touch yourself, that’s all mine – oh _fuck_ you feel so good – ”

Doc felt another shiver run through his body and did as Ex had asked, going back to just gripping at the sheets while Ex was just using his mouth as he pleased. Ex groaned. 

“You like that? Being – ah, being told what to do?”

Doc groaned in agreement. It had its appeal, being at Ex’s mercy like that and just letting him drive himself insane, hearing him get breathless and his voice get higher and more desperate with every time he pushed back into Doc’s mouth. 

Ex gave a helpless shout. _”Fuck,_ I – you’re – god I want you so bad – I wanna fuck your throat, I wanna _feel_ you – ”

Another sharp wave of wanton, hot need surged through Doc’s body and he _ached_ to touch himself for just a second, to give himself just a moment of that sweetest kind of pleasure that only Ex’s breathless moans seemed to be able to coax out of him. He took a breath and relaxed his jaw, concentrating on opening up his throat, suppressing the gag reflex – and then he angled his head and pushed down.

Ex gave a desperate cry when his next thrust had him slipping down Doc’s throat, burying himself so deep that Doc’s nose pressed into his lower abdomen. Doc gripped the sheets so tight that they had to be seconds from ripping apart, but he managed to keep his muscles relaxed. And even though he had to fight his own bodily reactions, he was relishing every moment.

Ex was sobbing above him, his voice reaching those sweet high pitches that made Doc’s hips twitch against the mattress below, revelling the momentary spike of pure pleasure at the touch.

“Fuck – oh god, Doc - _Doc_ \- oh god you’re so good – you feel _so good_ – ”

Doc dug his fingers into Ex’s hip, needing to feel the burning skin under his palm, guiding him back up when he tried to pull away, and Ex gripped it with his own as he gave a groan so wanton, it sent shivers down Doc’s spine. 

He could _feel_ his throat getting roughed up more with every time Ex pushed back in, but he didn’t care because it felt so good to be used like this right now – to give himself away if it meant more of those broken, breathless cries of Ex’s as he picked up speed. Doc could taste the faintest hint of precome somewhere on the back of his tongue and reflexively swallowed around the dick in his mouth. 

“Oh god - _fuck, Doc_ – !”

Doc had to give it every last inch of self-control he had to not cough and instead breathe through his nose as best as he could, but hearing Ex come so utterly undone above him made it more than worth it. Ex was shaking beneath him, and his words came as broken sobs.

“I’m gonna come, fuck Doc I’m gonna come – it’s so good – Doc please, I – ah – !”

Ex’s voice broke off, he gave a few more frantic thrusts and pushed himself as far as he would go. Doc could no longer breathe but he didn’t _care_ , because he felt Ex get impossibly harder within his throat as he came, the grip on his hair so tight it was painful. And then after a few seconds, he slid away, allowing Doc to take deep, shaky breaths while he fell down like all of his bones had left him. 

Doc coughed and oh, his throat felt _rough_ , and he couldn’t say that he didn’t like it. But he was also rapidly becoming aware again just how much he ached to be touched by now. Ex was slowly pushing himself up so he could find Doc’s eyes again. 

“God, that was – that felt insane. Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Doc replied, and his voice was as rough as his throat felt. Ex leaned over and pulled him down, catching him in a kiss as he held him tight. Doc gasped quietly. 

“Ex,” he groaned into the kiss, bucking his hips against Ex’s, “Please, I need – anything, just _please_ fucking touch me.”

Ex pushed him over onto his back, slowly, until he was seated on top of Doc, just that little bit above where his cock was aching to be touched, still trapped in boxers that were damp with precome by now. Doc looked up at Ex with pleading eyes. “Ex… _please_.”

“I never knew how good you’d sound when you beg,” Ex said, rolling his hips downward just a little bit so Doc could feel him brush up against the tip of his dick for only just a moment. He gave a pained gasp. _”Please,”_ he whispered again.

Ex pushed himself that little distance further down and ground his hips into Doc’s, who let his head fall back with a guttural groan when he finally, _finally_ got to feel that agonizingly sweet friction he’d missed this entire time. Ex moaned, his voice dripping with filthy lust. 

“You make such good noises,” he whispered and rolled his hips down again. Doc bucked his own upwards, desperate to increase the pressure just a bit more – but then, Ex moved away and off of him completely. Doc couldn’t help a frustrated whine. 

“You wanna fuck me that bad?” Ex asked next to him, and Doc felt the words go straight to his dick – if Ex had given him just one or two more strokes, he could have come just from that. 

_”Yes,”_ he breathed, reaching out to catch a strand of Ex’s hair between his fingers, locking eyes with him. “Yes, you mean, teasing – !”

Ex let his fingers trail across Doc’s chest and down his legs, cutting him off in the process. Something that could almost be described as a sob left Doc’s throat.

“Get yourself out of those,” Ex whispered, tugging slightly at Doc’s boxers, and Doc was only too happy to oblige. When he’d thrown them somewhere next to the bed, Ex let his fingers ghost over Doc’s leg before giving him one agonizingly gentle stroke and then pulling his hand away again.

“How about this,” Ex said, and his voice was the sultriest, lowest whisper that Doc had ever heard come out of him. “I want you to watch me… without touching yourself. I’ll get myself ready.”

Doc groaned. “I’m not gonna last a second if you keep being such an infernal tease.”

Ex dug his nails into Doc’s thigh, and his hips twitched up while he hissed at the sensation. Ex smiled, his eyes darker than even the void. “Then I’ll just fuck you through it until you’re hard again.”

Once again Doc felt the words surge through him to his very core. “Fine,” he managed weakly, because he was too desperately horny to argue anymore, and Ex bent down to lick one long stripe up his cock, sucking the tip into his mouth for just a moment to swirl his tongue over it. Doc gave a helpless shout when he pulled away again, having been so, so close to coming. 

“Fuck, Ex – !”

Ex chuckled next to him. He was sucking on his own fingers, letting his tongue ghost over them in a downright sadistic demonstration of what Doc desperately wished he would do to his dick.

“You’re the worst,” he groaned while Ex got himself positioned so that he could slowly, carefully slip a finger into himself. Doc could only barely see what he was doing from where he was lying, but even the half-obscured glimpses he was catching were enough to make him shiver with want. 

“Like what you see?”

Doc managed a panted “Uh-huh”, and Ex’s lips twisted into a devilish smile. His free hand wandered over and traced the gentlest of circles on Doc’s hipbone. Doc groaned and gripped the sheets tighter. If his skin tone had allowed it, his knuckles would’ve been turning white as snow. 

Ex was working his finger deeper into himself, letting out little gasps and moans as he did, all the while continuing to draw patterns on Doc’s hip and thigh, and Doc felt his brain melting into jelly because it kept him focused on just how much he _wasn’t_ being touched in the way he wanted to be. Ex hissed quietly, and Doc felt heat tingle all through his body when he saw that Ex had his finger buried in himself to the hilt, moving his hand and just unashamedly loving how he was making himself feel, with all of it for Doc to see.

“You do this sometimes?” he asked, and he sounded so much more breathless than he would have thought. “Just fuck yourself like that when I’m not there?”

“Yeah,” Ex gasped, and Doc’s hips twitched at the response. Ex gave him a burning look. “Feels better when you do it, though.”

Doc groaned helplessly. Ex pushed in a second finger, moaning shamelessly as he did. “Touch me,” he breathed, and Doc complied, wrapping his hand around Ex’s cock that somehow was already half-hard again and gave him slow, almost shaky strokes. Ex dug his nails into Doc’s hip with a hiss as he worked his fingers inside himself, spreading them, pushing in and out and driving Doc half insane at the sight of it.

“I can’t wait for you to fuck me,” Ex panted and Doc let his head fall back. His dick was so hard it was bordering on painful, and really, to feel Ex take him was all he wanted, so desperately he didn’t know how he was still holding on. Ex gave a long, drawn out moan next to him and he looked back down only to feel himself almost coming apart at the seams. 

“Fuck, Ex.”

Ex was gently rocking against his own fingers, three of them now, and if Doc could have managed any coherent thoughts anymore he would have sworn that Ex was making a show of it only to torture him. Ex’s fingers on his thigh withdrew and he pushed Doc’s hand around his cock away only to replace it with his own, making all these wanton noises that had Doc’s vision go blurry around the edges. 

“Ex _please_ I need you to touch me, please I’m going to beg you if you want me to, just please I _need_ to feel you, _please_ – ”

Ex’s responding moan was already getting high-pitched. His eyes were half-lidded and fixed on Doc’s. He pushed his fingers back in one more time, deep and slow, throwing his head back with a shameless groan.

“Ex, _please_ ,” Doc was downright whimpering. He could feel precome dribbling down his cock. 

Ex pulled his fingers out and carelessly wiped them on the sheets before bending down and taking Doc into his mouth, pushing down until he was buried in Ex’s throat. Doc gripped Ex’s hair with a shout.

_”Fuck – !”_

But before the pleasure that ripped through him like a lightning strike could build up that little bit more that he needed, Ex pulled away and Doc _sobbed_.

And then Ex climbed on top of him, and Doc felt him hover for just a moment, with the tip of his dick pushing oh so faintly at his entrance. He bucked up and Ex broke into a deep groan when the movement made Doc push in, letting himself sink down until Doc was buried inside of him. Doc was clawing at Ex’s hips with a helpless moan of relief. Ex was panting, one hand on Doc’s chest and the other slowly stroking his own dick.

“Let me ride you,” he breathed, his voice barely more than an urgent whisper dripping with lust, “And when you can’t take it anymore, I want you to fuck me until you come, as hard as you want, just make me take it all.”

The words raced through Doc’s veins, all at once colliding in his groin and he bucked up into the heat around him once, twice, with stuttering hips and a guttural, helpless groan as he came. Ex gave a moan that betrayed just how much he relished the moment. Then he began to move, and Doc’s vision whited out for a second. 

The sweet, all-encompassing pleasure of having finally gotten to come after teetering right at the edge of it for so long bled into the sharp sensation of being hopelessly overstimulated. Doc was a moaning, groaning mess, slack hands falling away from Ex’s hips and shakily gripping the sheets again as Ex panted above him, rolling his hips, fucking himself on Doc’s spent dick that, try as it might, had no opportunity to soften. 

“Ex… Ex please,” he heard himself grind out in broken up, sobbing words, with no idea what he was actually asking for. His head was spinning, and even though his eyes were screwed shut, there were wild colours dancing in front of them. 

“It’s so good,” Ex gasped out, his hands pressing into Doc’s thighs where he was steadying himself as he kept on moving, kept on thrusting his hips up and down in an agonizingly relentless rhythm that had Doc’s ears ringing. 

“Fuck you’re so good – god you should see yourself, you look so good when you’re – ah, when you’re out of your mind like that – ”

Doc couldn’t help his hips twitching upwards just a little, coaxing a sweet, short gasp out of Ex. The torturous, overstimulated high was slowly ebbing off and bleeding right back into an urgent _want_ – a need to increase the sensation that he was getting from the slow, steady rolls of Ex’s hips – 

Still, he couldn’t help gasping each time Ex ground his hips, pushing himself down on Doc’s cock with a sinful moan. One of his hands had left Doc’s thigh to stroke his own dick, and Doc’s eyes were flicking between Ex’s fingers wrapped around his leaking cock, and his flushed face – open-mouthed, half-lidded, lost in chasing his own pleasure as he drove himself insane. 

Doc could feel the desperate need return that he’d felt the entire time Ex had kept on teasing him, the sharp bursts of pleasure from each time he couldn’t stop himself from bucking up into Ex as he fucked himself on Doc’s dick. He was aching for more, just a little bit. 

And then Ex slowed down, a shaky sigh escaping him when he rolled his hips just right for Doc to grind against his sweet spot, his nails digging into Doc’s thigh. Doc was trembling with need. A spark ran up from his dick into his chest, and something snapped. 

With a low growl, he grabbed Ex’s hips and lifted him up and to the side, rolling him onto his back and pulling his legs up with such rough movements it seemed almost violent, but Ex’s approving moan of “fuck _yes_ ” showed he had no issue whatsoever with it. Doc bent his legs down until his knees almost touched his chest and pushed back in with a groan, and Ex hooked his legs over his shoulders and let his head fall back so that Doc could see his neck curve in a beautiful display of violet and purpure. 

He bent down and buried his teeth just above Ex’s collarbone as he began to pound into him with abandon, groaning into the abused skin under his lips when he could finally feel the friction he’d been desperate for. Ex was hot and tight around him, every rapid thrust coaxing another gasp out of him, his voice getting higher by the second. 

“Oh god yes, that’s it, fuck – ”

Doc felt him dragging sharp scratches down his back and groaned at the sensation. “Make them last,” he managed, and Ex dug his nails deeper while Doc fucked him hard, fast and rough, and Ex’s moans were turning into sobs, were turning into screams.

“Yesyes _yes fuck, harder please_ – god yes, fuck – god I love you – I love you – ”

Doc groaned into Ex’s shoulder, biting down into it and earning a shout and a scratch in return. He lifted himself back up only to bury his hand in Ex’s hair and _tug_ , and Ex sobbed underneath him.

“God you’re so beautiful,” he ground out while he felt the familiar fire coil deep in his stomach, and his rhythm was getting that shaky edge to it that betrayed just how desperately close he was, how much he was longing to come inside of that lovely, arching, battered body below him that fit together with his own so incredibly perfectly.

“So good, taking me like that, you think you could come just from this? Taking my cock and having your hair pulled?”

His voice was more panting than anything else and Ex was sobbing beneath him. He tugged at the white hair again and Ex’s hips stuttered helplessly against his own that continued to drive into him mercilessly. Doc felt droplets of sweat roll across his back, the angry scratches burning in between.

“Choke me,” Ex whimpered the familiar plea, and Doc let go of his hair to close his hand around the bruised throat. He’d miss it, in a strange way, feeling the feverish pulse beat underneath his palm as he pounded into Ex’s oversensitive body, feeling him tense up around him, seeing the beautiful arch of his back when he threw his head back in a silent scream and shook almost violently as he came in between them. 

“Oh god – oh fuck, oh fuck, Doc – Doc – !”

Doc just kept on fucking him through it, staving his orgasm off for as long as he could, even though with the way Ex was clenching down on him and letting out helpless sobs drowned in pleasure, all he wanted was to let himself come. But he had to drag this out, unwilling to let the moment end, staring at the shaking figure underneath him, with his eyes squeezed shut and Doc’s hand gripping his throat, and letting the image burn into his mind. 

“Doc please – oh god, please – ”

Doc groaned and released Ex’s neck from his grip so he could let his head fall down, pressing it against Ex’s shoulder as he struggled to keep up the rapid pace for much longer. He felt Ex’s arms wrap tightly around his shoulders and heard him sob somewhere above his head. The fire pooling in his stomach was racing through his every vein, and when he sucked one last bruise into Ex’s collarbone, he felt him grow tighter around his aching dick, hips stuttering involuntarily against Doc’s thrusts. And finally with a drawn out, low groan, he came, giving a few more shaky thrusts until he just collapsed and let Ex wrap his limbs around him like a silent comfort. 

He buried his face in the crook of Ex’s neck and returned the hug, feeling himself slip out of Ex’s shivering body and just held him tight. Ex squeezed him weakly. His breaths were coming fast and shallow, but the shaky kiss he pressed to Doc’s head was all Doc needed to know that he was okay.

“God, I love you,” he managed weakly.

Ex was rubbing soothing circles into his back while Doc had manoeuvred his hand back up into Ex’s hair. 

“I love you too.”


	10. Epilogue

When the morning light woke them, nothing betrayed how they drifted from sleeping into waking. Their tangled limbs wrapped around each other held just a little tighter than a moment ago, but for a few more, bittersweet minutes they did not move any more than that, refusing to face the reality of their nearing separation. 

Finally, Doc pulled away far enough to be able to see Ex’s face. Sad but composed eyes met his. 

“Hey,” he said with a little smile, and Doc couldn’t help but smile back. “Hey.”

“Today’s the day.”

“Yeah. Today’s the day.”

They curled into each other for another moment. Ex pressed his lips to Doc’s neck, right where he could feel his pulse beating softly. 

“Don’t make me miss you for too long.”

When they stepped outside into the sun, they were welcomed by the gentle breeze that so often wafted through the jagged mountains. They gave each other a look. This was goodbye.

“I…,” Doc started, but he didn’t know what to say. There was too much and nothing at all that he wished he could still let Ex know. Ex took his hand and squeezed it gently. He was wearing none of the red armour over his casual clothes anymore, and Doc wanted to burn that image into his brain – Ex, standing barefoot in the soft grass while the sun illuminated his white hair and made it shine like a mock halo around his head. Glowing ribbons of it that flowed over his shoulders and down his body, covered in black and blue remains of Doc’s lips on his skin. The only red thing on him now were the scars on his face and the colour of his eyes.

His eyes. They were shimmering with that tell-tale gleam of suppressed tears, but his voice was calm when he spoke. “I’ll miss you, Doc. I really, really will. But I know we’ll see each other again some day. If I find a way to you, even if it won’t last, I’ll find you again.”

“Not if I find you first!” Doc said, feeling tears prick at his eyes, but he refused them. He had time enough for them later. “I promise not to be quite so reckless again. No risks of that kind for either of us, deal?”

“Deal,” Ex said with a little smile. Then, taking Doc’s other hand, he stepped closer, up against Doc’s chest on his tiptoes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Doc replied, letting the words wash over him one more time. It felt unreal, but so unshakeably true. And while he had been feeling this way about Ex for longer than he thought possible, it still felt strange to have it so out in the open, and reciprocated nonetheless. 

He freed his hands from Ex’s grip and lifted him up for one, two, three more kisses goodbye. And then another, and another. They clung to the moment, to the connection of their lips, to all the things it allowed them to say at once without needing any words. 

Finally, they came apart again. There was a pause. Then, Doc shrugged out of his lab coat. “Here,” he said and held it out. “It’s old and has seen much better days, but I’ll still want it back! But… keep it until I come to collect it. To remind you that I will.”

Ex swallowed hard, taking the worn fabric with a touch so gentle as if he’d been handed the most delicate treasure in the universe. “I will,” he said, voice a whisper that would have broken if he’d tried to speak any louder. 

“Let me – wait, let me put this away and – and give you something too, so you don’t forget about needing your coat back.”

He disappeared into the base, and Doc took the few moments to breathe, forcing down the lump in his throat. When had they gotten so _feelsy?!_

But the true answer was, long before they had even first parted. They had only not said it out loud, then.

Ex came back out of the mountain again, and Doc blinked incredulously when he saw the chest plate of Ex’s armour. Ex held it out to him. “Here. I don’t want to need it anymore, and if I find myself missing it, I’ll know that it’s safe with you.”

“Are you sure?” Doc said, hesitantly taking it and letting his fingers glide gently over the little scratches and nicks and grooves in it. It was as worn as his coat, just in a different way.

“Yes,” Ex said with an insistent nod. “I’m – I’m not done with my past, and I don’t want to just forget it either. But… I want to get over it. Grow, if that’s what you wanna call it. And I can’t slip back into the comfort of putting this on and taking the easy way of pretending that there’s nothing I need to change or deal with if I simply don’t have all the pieces to do that.

It's not as... conventional as the helmet would probably be, but I've not been wearing it anyways. This is harder to do without, and...,” he cleared his throat, but his voice still came out gruff, “And this is the closest thing to my heart can give you.”

Doc nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said, voice husky. “Okay. If you decide otherwise, you’ll have to come find me.”

“Or if I want to burn it for good,” Ex said with a rough laugh. Again, there was a pause.

Then, Doc pulled Ex into a hug and they just held on, ever so tightly. It was time.

“I’ll go take care of the iron farm,” Doc said, his voice muffled by Ex’s hair. Ex nodded, and for a moment, his grip on Doc became even tighter. “I’ll go to the traders,” he mumbled into Doc’s chest.

The two lay far apart, out of sight from one another. They’d part like so many days before, to divvy up the tasks of the day… but today, Ex would return alone. 

One more kiss. The hug came apart.

“I love you. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Not if I get there first! I love you too.”

Then they went, each in their own direction. The sun was standing high in the sky, and the air was so warm and lovely that it was almost grotesquely unfitting. Then again, how clichéd would it have been for it to rain?

Doc tended to the iron farm, emptying chests and putting away iron blocks. He was done sooner than he’d have liked, but finally, there was nothing more to do. He climbed up to the roof and stared at the sun that had now become so familiar to him, a friend in a world he had never been meant to even know. He gripped the chest plate tightly, so tightly it almost hurt. He straightened his back. The scratches Ex had left on him burned. A deep breath. A step to the side. 

< Docm77 fell out of the world >

A long ways away, Ex’s communicator pinged. He pulled up the screen, but when he opened the channel, he had to look away.

As soon as Doc opened his eyes in the void, he knew he was in for a long wait. He felt more detached than ever before – from himself, from his non-existent surroundings, from the worlds far away. Even the chest plate he was still clinging to felt like it was slipping away from him in spite of his iron grip. He curled his fingers around the edge of it tightly and opened up his communicator. Here was to hoping the Hermits were still within reach.

Docm77: < X? Tp? Long overdue explanation will follow! >

He waited, and time ran past him in paths he couldn’t follow. How long had he been here, clutching Ex’s armour? Minutes? Hours? Days? 

He wasn’t tired. Had he slept? He couldn’t remember whether or not he’d woken up. Was he awake at all? 

‘Ping!’

Xisuma: < I bloody well hope so, jeez. Getting you in a sec! >

Doc breathed out. He switched back to Ex’s channel one last time. Maybe it’d go through. Maybe not. Worst case, nothing would change.

Docm77: < Hey Ex, sending this from the void. Got through to X, he’s getting me. Gonna be safe and sound! Cya in the next one >

No answer came. 

Doc held on to the chest plate, waiting. Waiting. Waiting. His eyelids were getting heavier. 

Maybe it really had been a while.

When the darkness tore away, Doc felt like he was being ripped apart at molecular level. Everything inside of him seemed to revolt, splitting and coalescing at the same time, and then he was falling onto glass flooring. Somewhere in the distance, a green blur of trees blended into something yellow and black. 

He screwed his eyes shut and just lay there, doubled over on his knees, clinging to the armour piece in his arms as if for dear life. 

_”Doc,_ oh my dear me!”

He sucked air into his lungs. Breathing had never been this difficult. In, out. 

“Xisuma,” he finally managed. There was a hand on his shoulder. Hesitant comfort. 

“Are you – can I help you at all?”

“Give me a minute. Just – adjusting.”

After a while, his breathing evened out and Doc sat up, blinking into the light. A cross-shaped room welcomed him. Through an entrance, he saw a green ocean of jungle trees somewhere below. Shulker boxes lined a wall to his side. He shook his head out.

“Okay. I’m – I’m okay. Hey Xisuma. Thanks, man. I uh, dude, I gotta set my spawn, I – ”

“I’ve done it,” Xisuma interrupted him with a pointed look. “You’re anchored at spawn with everyone else.”

Doc blinked. “You – what?”

“Admin, remember? Used to do it for everyone on the regular. So since you were too incapacitated, I took care of it.”

“How did you know – ?”

“I couldn’t teleport you, so I checked everything I could think of. Turns out, last place your base spawn showed up as in my files was the last world. I should have thought of that when you managed to zip yourself out of this world just by getting to zero health! Nearly broke my own brain trying to wrap my head around that one.”

He shook his head. “What were you thinking, man? You could have ended up heaven knows where! If you hadn’t been so out of your mind frantic when I got you back last time, I never would have let you – you didn’t even give me time to – I couldn’t even think, dude!”

Doc gave him a weak smile. “That makes two of us. Ex says hi, by the way.”

Xisuma’s eyes fell onto the red chest plate that Doc was still holding. Doc finally got to his feet. 

“Why when you start acting strangely is it always to do with him?”

“Well, there’s some stuff we didn’t exactly tell you. And I’m sorry. I kept a lot from you, again, and I’ve probably stressed you out like nothing else for a while now. I’m just glad you’re still talking to me.”

Xisuma gave him a weary smile. “I’ve gotten used to it over time. I know you can watch out for yourself, and it’s not like you’ve caused trouble that would have the code collapse on me. But you know I worry. We all did. You’re our friend, you donkey. It sucks when you’ve got a friend who won’t let you help them with whatever it is that’s dragging them down.”

Doc nodded. “Yeah, man I… I know. I’ll have to apologise to the others too. But you’ve gotten me out of yet more trouble I’ve gotten myself into again, and since it’s got to do with Ex, I think I owe it to you first.”

He gripped the chest plate with one hand and laid the other onto Xisuma’s shoulder. “Come on. I’ll explain.”

Xisuma nodded and together, they started towards the big window, outlined in yellow and black, overseeing the jungle. Time to find a place out there where they could talk for a couple of hours without any Hermits likely to fly by and interrupt. 

“By the way,” Xisuma said, as he handed Doc some rockets, “Where did your coat get to?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is inspired by both [King of Nothing by Erang](https://youtu.be/gZaV8zFWrOo) as well as [King Nothing by Metallica](https://youtu.be/Xz9DX_VMXdI).
> 
> Here we are, you guys. We've reached the end once more. I did originally plan to give Doc's return and its aftermath some more words, but it honestly felt like that would make it unnecessarily lengthy - after all, you've just read all of what happened, and him repeating it all back to Xisuma in slightly different words wouldn't really have added anything in my opinion.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this somewhat unplanned sequel, I sure had a lot of fun writing it! Thank you to anyone who commented, left kudos or chose to enjoy this without interacting at all. I will once again post a non-explicit version of this one as well, under the title "Queen of Nothing" which you can find [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526775) \- rated T due to the whole fakeout death situation.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Queen of Nothing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526775) by [kingpig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingpig/pseuds/kingpig)




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